Complicated
by shi-chan
Summary: YAOI - Tatsumi feels guitly about everything that took place in Kyoto. He gets drunk one night and comes face to face with Muraki, whom he hates. But as he learns more, he changes. (COMPLETE) MuTats
1. Part 1

This is my second attempt on a Muraki/Tatsumi fic. The first time I tried them out was in my previous fic, Precious Illusions. I liked the pairing and I hope people do too. They actually look nice together. I have an illustration of this fic and if you wish to see it, mail me and I will send it to you.  
  
Happy Reading!  
  
COMPLICATED 1  
  
  
  
How long he had been there, he did not know. He did remember, however, that he had to go and check a few deaths and repair damages that had occurred in the past two months. He then vaguely remembered walking in to an empty bar, save for one man who was watching a soccer match on television with the bartender and barmaid, and slamming down a thick wad of folded yen bills, saying that he wanted sake, and that they should not stop bringing him the drink, no matter what happens. Kyoto, after all, was well known for its good quality sake.  
  
Now he sat there, beside the blue colored window of the bar, drinking his third jar of sake. He was pondering on his thoughts, about how he could be so selfish and heartless. He had seen Tsuzuki embracing the flames of Touda, wanting death so desperately. When he was assigned a partner a few months back, Tatsumi made a solemn oath that he would watch over his amethyst eyed colleague, for his partner looked incapable. He smirked as he remembered his oath, taking a long swig from his cup and refilling it again. It was ironic that it was him who backed out in the end, wanting Tsuzuki to do whatever he desired, which in a way, was all right. But he deeply cared for the man and to leave him like that because he himself was hesitating and unsure of what to do was downright pathetic not to mention selfish. What was worst was that when Hisoka was in Tsuzuki's arms in the middle of all the fire, he had felt bitter jealousy bubbling up inside him.  
  
He poured the last few contents of the jar in to his cup and drank the whole thing down. The barmaid came with a new jar, taking the empty one away and resuming to watch the soccer game. Tsuzuki was still in the brink of consciousness and unconsciousness. Touda's flames could kill any Shinigami, but that does not mean that his fumes were not as deadly. It could knock out a Shinigami for a long time. Hisoka was on his feet already, walking around, watching over Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki was asleep most of the time and so he was not able to speak to him save for watching him open his eyes for a few minutes and closing them again to fall back asleep. It had been painful to watch him like that, so he vowed never to go and see him until he was fully awake.  
  
Another thing was that the House of Candles still had Muraki's candle tall and burning brightly, meaning he was still alive and not weakened at all. It drove Tatsumi up the wall, for he knew as long as that mad sadist was alive, there will never be peace. He had been thinking about him and what could he possibly want from Tsuzuki, and when he found no answers, he'd go and drink himself stupid until he saw cats dancing in tutus. This was one of those moments. He got no answer whatsoever, but he wondered as well what Muraki was planning to do to Tsuzuki, since the equipment under Shion University were surgical equipment. It's not like Tsuzuki needed an operation or anything stupid like that? What had he planned? What was he thinking then?  
  
He had changed, ever since the events that took place two months ago. He had lost weight and was less muscular than before. He hardly got any sleep, after dreaming about Tsuzuki yelling when he lost mind after witnessing Suzaku burn Ikaruga. It drove him mad and he was hardly eating now, always taking alcohol to forget and waking up with his guts coming out of his mouth the next morning. He had vowed never to angst about everything that happened and drink alcohol, for it produced nothing good, but the vow remained broken and was never taken serious.  
  
His vision was now spinning and he was beginning to see colors. He pulled his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose. The fourth jar was half empty, and he knew he was nearing the state of fainting. He stood up and pulled his coat over him tightly and without another word, left the bar. He walked down the street of the crisp night, his steps no longer straight. He was now faltering and was having a hard time seeing what was going on in front of him. He had collided painfully in to something and he assumed that it was an ivory lamppost and merely grunted at his own carelessness. Something gripped him by his shoulders, steadying him. Funny, he thought. Since when did lampposts have arms and hands? He blinked hard and stared at the object with hands in front of him.  
  
"Lost in your drunk stupor?"  
  
"Get off me!" He hissed, shoving the person who was holding him, anything but roughly. "Oh joy! I knew you were alive, but I did not want to see you!" He snapped, his temper really blinding him now. Must be the sake, he thought.  
  
"I meant no harm." The man clad in white said.  
  
"Since when?" He asked bitterly. "That's all you've been doing ever since you entered our lives! You meant no harm eh? What a joke! Excuse me while I write my will because I'm dying of laughter." He said sarcastically and stumbled in his own step, falling forward.  
  
"You are very drunk, Tatsumi." He said, catching Tatsumi was now leaning against him.  
  
"Who are you to judge, Muraki?" Tatsumi grumbled, his fists tightening around Muraki's sleeves of his white coat, in an attempt to stay on his own to feet. His mind reeled with everything that happened and he remembered his pathetic state and selfish thoughts that he laughed. He began to laugh at the irony of it all. "I'm going crazy." He said, in between his laughs. Muraki merely watched with a pitied expression on his face. "I'm going crazy." Tatsumi said finally and gripped Muraki's forearms, his head dipped down, his long brown bangs covering his eyes. His laughter was gone and he was now crying, crying like a broken and lost child. "And it's all your fault!" He said, his gripping getting tighter. "All your stupid fault, you ass! All you fault!"  
  
Muraki held Tatsumi who sobbed in front of him. "Come on." He said, leading him down the street. He actually felt sorry for him, and he knew that he was the cause of the secretary's inner turmoil.  
  
"What makes you think that I will go with you?" Tatsumi asked, following him anyway. He still had tears flooding his blue eyes. "I'm not going with you!"  
  
"I'm not leaving a hopeless drunk like you in the streets." Muraki said. "I do have some decency you know? Even after what I did two months ago." Tatsumi pulled himself away from the doctor.  
  
"Decency?" He yelled. "What decency? What person in his right mind would something crazy like what happened two months ago and claim that he has decency?" Tatsumi leaned against the red-bricked wall of one of the buildings lining the street. "You're seriously messed up in the head then!" He turned around and faced the wall, touching his forehead on the rough bricks. "I hate you." He said, clenching his fists.  
  
Muraki came up from behind him and carried his numb body in his arms, continuing his walk down the street. Tatsumi remained unmoving, staring at the starry sky. He couldn't believe he was in Muraki's arms, letting him take care of his own self. It was pathetic and he was ashamed of it all. More of his tears came trickling down his cheeks, his eyes now empty. He heard a door open and close, as he was carried up a flight of stairs. Another door opened and this time he was greeted with darkness. He was laid on a soft bed, Muraki's hands now undressing him, and discarding all of his clothes and putting a clean gray yukata on his lithe body, placing his glasses on the side table.  
  
"I don't like you." Tatsumi mumbled, staring at the ceiling of the dark room, as Muraki pulled a white silk comforter over him. "I really don't like you."  
  
"There's nothing I can do about it then." Muraki wittily replied, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You don't understand me. Even a crazy person has his reasons."  
  
"I still don't like you." Tatsumi said, but Muraki's last two sentences clinging on to his mind as he closed his eyes and surrendered to fatigue.  
  
*  
  
Tatsumi woke up the next morning - actually it was twelve in the afternoon - seeing everything around him in gray and violet. He winced in the semi- bright bedroom and brought a hand up to his face. You don't understand me. Even a crazy person has his reasons. He immediately sat up and regretted doing that. His mind spun in a million directions and he felt his stomach do somersaults. He looked around the room in a frantic gesture, trying to find the bathroom. He pushed the covers away from him and shakily got to his feet, nearly tripping over the plush carpet. The door to the room swung open and Muraki stepped in, dress in white slacks and a crème shirt.  
  
"You know better than to sit up so suddenly when you drank several pints of alcohol last night." He said, catching Tatsumi as he fell forward.  
  
"Shut up!" Tatsumi hissed, doubling back. He shoved Muraki weakly away and pushed the door to the bathroom open behind Muraki, rushing in and kneeling in front of the toilet seat, throwing up his guts. He held the sides of the toilet seat in a death grip as he heaved and continued to throw up everything in his stomach, until he only spat out stomach acid. Perspiration coated his tanned body and face, as his breathing slowed down.  
  
"Let this be a lesson to you, Tatsumi." Muraki kneeled beside him and brought a damp cool towel to Tatsumi's face.  
  
"Don't touch me." Tatsumi said, pushing Muraki's hands away and throwing up again. He groaned, his throat now burning. Once again, he bent over the toilet seat and vomited. He was getting dizzy now and his limbs were trembling.  
  
"You need a long bath. It will relax you for a while." Muraki said, standing up and filling the bathtub with warm water. He placed some bath oils, distinctly smelling of roses, and helped Tatsumi to his feet, pulling the yukata off him and making him sit in the warm water. Tatsumi sat in the tub, staring at the water, his legs drawn to his chest.  
  
"I've always wondered." He said, stopping Muraki in his task of folding the yukata. "Why you act the way you do?"  
  
Muraki stared at Tatsumi for a while, who had his head dipped and looking at the water, not moving. He sat at the side of the tub and sighed. "I lived for revenge Tatsumi." He stared at his hands. "For all my life, I planned and plotted revenge, studying, analyzing, experimenting." Tatsumi looked up to find Muraki's hands clenched. "I needed Tsuzuki's body, for it was perfect. It was the only way to -" He stopped and shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Everything is gone now." He looked at Tatsumi and smiled. He actually smiled, wrinkles forming under his eyes. "I lead the normal life now, free from bitter thoughts and revenge. I might as well, since my life is short." Tatsumi stared at him with his lips slightly parted. "There's a towel on the rack. Your clothes will be in the bedroom." He stood up and left the bathroom, gently closing the door behind him.  
  
Tatsumi lifted his hands up from the water. "Muraki changed." He said to himself and kept staring at his hands. He was actually very gentle now, acting like a real doctor. It surprised him, and it made him feel awkward. What revenge? Was it something about his past? He brought his hands to his face and stood up from the bathtub, draining the water. He turned the shower on and stood under the freezing spray. "It is unnatural." He said to himself.  
  
He dried himself and went to the bedroom he had been sleeping in, only to find everything in order and the curtains parted, giving him a view of a beautiful pond and endless greenery. He found his clothes cleaned and ironed on the bed, and with careful movements, dressed himself. He padded out of the room and down the stairs, hearing light sniffles. He stiffened in alert and headed for the living room. He found Muraki sitting on a swivel chair, a small child sitting in front of him in a soft red velvet chair, his mother standing behind him, as Muraki examined his arm.  
  
"It should get better in a few weeks, Aki-chan." He said, rubbing some ointment from a container in a silver tray beside him on the child's arm. He then began to bandage it and handed the boy a lollipop. "Be brave, okay Aki-chan?"  
  
"Yes, doctor!" The young boy said, nodding and smiling, his tears now gone.  
  
Muraki scribbled something on paper. "Here's your medicine. It is a painkiller. You should take it twice a day, one after breakfast and one before bed." He handed the paper to the boy's mother. "Take care." He said as the two made their way out of the living room, a butler escorting them out. Muraki stood up and stared at the watch. It had been his last patient for the day, and it was already lunchtime. His eyes fell on Tatsumi standing by the doorway, a surprised expression on his face. "He burned his arm during cooking lessons in school." Muraki said, and folding his white doctor's coat on the seat. "Are you leaving?"  
  
"I have to." Tatsumi said, looking away. Is there something else he could say?  
  
"I see then." Muraki said, nodding. "Are you sure you don't want to stay for lunch?" The shadows in the house began to shift, gathering by Tatsumi's feet.  
  
"No, thank you." Tatsumi said, the shadows now rising till his neck. "Good day." He said, nodding at Muraki's direction and disappeared, transporting himself to Meifu. He rushed to the office and was bombarded by questions whether he was okay because apparently Watari and Hisoka had gone out to look for him. "I'm fine." He said, sitting behind his desk and dismissing all concern.  
  
He resumed doing his paper work, calculating and filing the numerous and piling bills before him. By mid afternoon, he felt tired. The side effects of alcohol still haven't left him and he was still weak. He suddenly remembered Muraki and how unbelievably kind he was to him. What struck him was when he had wiped his face with a towel and his words before he had gone to sleep in his drunken stupor. Revenge? Because of what?  
  
He stood up and headed for the library, slamming both his hands in front of Gushoshin's table, eyes narrowed. "Tatsumi!" The bird-like creature gasped, his brother twitching in fear beside him.  
  
"I want all the information you have on Muraki! Down to the last paper! Understand?" He said, his voice growling.  
  
"Yes sir!" The twins said.  
  
Tatsumi headed back to his office. One hour later, a file was sent to him, with Muraki's name on the front. He opened it and began to scan through it.  
  
TBC  
  
  
  
Okay, don't be turned off just yet! I promise to make it nice! Tsuzuki plays a MAJOR role here, you'll see! 


	2. Part 2

COMPLICATED 2  
  
  
  
Tatsumi closed the file in front of him and buried his head on his folded arms on the desk. He did not know what to feel. Remorse? Pity? Care? Comfort? Discomfort? So many emotions were attacking him now. No wonder Muraki acted the way he did two months ago. He was just lost and driven by revenge to the brink of madness. His thoughts then went to Tsuzuki, and how he had so much wanted to die because of Muraki and how much he probably hated the man. It was no surprise either. He hated him too, but that hatred inside him, it was hesitating now. Perhaps because he understood now?  
  
"This is not industrious at all." He mumbled and got to his feet, taking the folder with him as he exited the office, and out of the agency, beginning his journey to earth with the help of his shadows.  
  
Kyoto was now dark, for Tatsumi had stayed in his office for hours after closing time reading the folder over and over again. He made his way to the bar he was in the other night, desperate for a drink. Perhaps if he got drunk again, his mind would be clouded and he wouldn't have trouble trying to get some sleep. It was bad for him and his reputation, but he sees no other alternative. Alcohol tasted nice anyway, and besides, it's not like he was the only one Meifu who drinks. The barmaid saw him again and recognized him, nodding as she took the folded yen bills from him and brought him a jar of sake, along with a cup. Once again, he began to drink, drowning his thoughts. He drank and drank, until his vision was a mere blur of colors. He was on his fifth bar when a surrendering sigh was heard behind him.  
  
With droopy eyes, he turned and found Muraki standing behind, and for a change, he wasn't wearing that white trench coat of his. He was wearing a nice black one, expensive looking and perfectly tailored for his slender and strong built.  
  
"Oh hello Muraki!" Tatsumi said, waving a cup. "Have some."  
  
Muraki patiently took his cup away and set it down, pulling him to his feet. "I saw you as I was walking by."  
  
"Where have you been? Out to kill someone?" Tatsumi asked in a slurred voice.  
  
"No." Muraki answered. "As a matter of fact I was attending to an old lady who was suffering from heart attack." Tatsumi's eyebrows knitted in confusion. Muraki out this late to cure someone? "If I didn't go, that lady would have died." Tatsumi jerked away from him.  
  
"You're lying." Tatsumi said, shaking his head vigorously. He refused to believe that the sadist that hurt his close comrade was actually caring. "You're lying!" He yelled and rushed out of the bar, and out to the back. He grabbed his head and began to tear his hair out, giving out frustrating growls in the process. He didn't understand him. He could not understand him. It was impossible for someone like him to be as kind as he was now. When he did not understand something, he went crazy, because he always understood everything. But Muraki Kazutaka was a picture he could not understand at all, no matter how he tried.  
  
Muraki saw this and quickly knelt before him, stopping him from doing any further damage to his scalp. "What is wrong with you? Stop it! You'll hurt yourself!" Tatsumi pushed him away roughly and doubled back, touching his forehead to the asphalt of the ground of the dark alley, still pulling his hair tightly. Muraki quickly pulled him and shook him hard. "Tatsumi!" He yelled, shaking him again. "What's wrong with you?"  
  
"I don't understand." He said shaking his head hard that his glasses went flying in the other end of their position.  
  
"What don't you understand?" Muraki asked, his eyes narrowed.  
  
"You!" He snapped, dropping his hands on his knees in surrender. Muraki was taken aback. "You told me that I don't understand you, so now I'm trying!" Tatsumi said in defeat, taking out a folder from his coat pocket and tossing it towards Muraki. "I don't understand anything! I'm really trying."  
  
Muraki opened the folder and his eyes widened. There it was, his biodata and everything that happened in his life from childhood till present. It was a perfect essay of his life and only thing that lacked was emotions. That was probably the reason why Tatsumi could not understand him. He stared at Tatsumi's hands, which had several strands of his brown hair in his curled fist.  
  
"Then let me make you understand." He said, standing up. "Maybe after a nice hot bath and some cool air would calm you. Come, Tatsumi."  
  
Tatsumi could not resist. He wanted to understand so badly that he actually followed Muraki to his house. Besides, he could take care of himself, in case the 'sadist' tried something stupid.  
  
*  
  
  
  
Both men were dressed in clean kimonos, sitting in the backyard of Muraki's estate, which had maple and cherry blossom trees planted. There was an artificial pond in one corner, the cool breeze causing maple leaves and cherry blossoms to slowly drift down to the pond, making them floating. It was a wonderful sight. Tatsumi had a cup of oolong tea in his shaking hands, because he was still drunk even after the comforting bath and a change of clothes.  
  
"What you have read took place." Muraki said, taking a sip from his tea. "They did happen and they are accurate down to the last event." Tatsumi lifted his eyes to look at Muraki, who was staring at his cup, a sad smile on his pale face. "I loved my mother, and my father. When they were taken away from me, I felt so alone and unwanted that I really did think of suicide." He let a soft sigh escape his lips. "When I found out that my half brother, Saki did it, I was shattered. He was my only family member left, and he wanted to kill me. As defence, our family butler shot him, and he died. From that point on, I - I -" He closed his eyes and his fingers tightened around his cup. "I changed. The only thing that kept me alive was revenge, and so I became a doctor and selfishly used my skills to research cloning." He took a sip from his cup. "I found my grandfather's notes on his patients and one of them was Tsuzuki, before he died. I became interested because he continued to live for eight years without eating, sleeping or drinking. It was the perfect body for it regenerated when harm was inflicted upon it. I needed his body so that I can bring Saki back to life." Tatsumi's eyes widened a bit. "I wanted to bring him to life because I blamed him for everything that has gone wrong in my life, that I wanted to kill him myself." Muraki closed his eyes. "But it doesn't matter anymore. That fire destroyed everything." Tatsumi stared at his cup, now understanding Muraki's position. "It's all right really. I like this peace. It feels good, for once." He said, making Tatsumi look up, only to find him smiling. "It's funny you know."  
  
"What is?" Tatsumi asked, taking a sip from his tea.  
  
"How I wanted to die before and how I killed." Tatsumi smirked at that. "Now I am afraid of dying and as much as I can, I want to extend people's lives. This is what I choose to do, in order to atone for all the wrongs I've done in the past." Tatsumi stared at his empty cup. He did not know what to say, for what can he say? He understood Muraki, but now he could not understand himself. He felt serenity now, after hearing everything come from Muraki's mouth. It was calming and really, he was not such a bad person after all. He was merely blinded by revenge that it changed his ways and views to lives. For once, Tatsumi was speechless. "Do you come to earth much, Tatsumi?"  
  
"From time to time."  
  
"To drink sake?" Muraki asked, chuckling. "Is there no such things in Meifu?" Tatsumi smiled and suddenly laughed. "What is so funny?"  
  
"There are." He said, still laughing. "But I just feel that sake on earth is far better. Especially here in Kyoto."  
  
Muraki nodded, smiling now. "I see." He chuckled. "Yes, Kyoto has the best wine. Have you tried their hot springs?"  
  
"No I haven't." Tatsumi said, shaking his head.  
  
"Oh you must!" Muraki said. "It is one of the best luxuries this old capital can provide. If you have the time, I will take you there."  
  
Tatsumi looked at Muraki for a while, unsure. "I will think about it." Muraki smiled and looked at the sky. "I just remembered." He said, his eyes not leaving the stars in the sky. "The Sakura festival is coming up soon. It is one of the happiest seasons here in Kyoto." A light thump made him look at Tatsumi. He chuckled with amusement at the sight the secretary made. He had lost consciousness due to all the alcohol in his system. He was now lying on his side, his forehead on his arm while a fist lay in front of his nose. "Really now." He said, standing up and gathering Tatsumi's fallen figure in his arms and carrying him to his bedroom, tucking him in bed. "You shinigamis never cease to amaze me." He brushed a lock of Tatsumi's brown hair away from his face and left the room.  
  
*  
  
Tatsumi had immediately transported himself to Meifu, as soon as he changed, ignoring the sick feeling he got in his stomach. He did not even say thank you to Muraki. He stopped dead in his tracks towards his office. Thank him? Had he gone crazy? Thank him for what?  
  
"Good morning Tatsumi." Hisoka greeted from behind him.  
  
Tatsumi suddenly felt sick to the pits of his being. He darted forward to the bathroom and bent before the toilet seat and threw up all the alcohol in his stomach. Hisoka had followed him and watched with wide eyes as Tatsumi continued to vomit for the next half an hour in the toilet seat of the men's room. Once he was done, he remained in his kneeling position, trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Are you all right?" Hisoka asked, concerned.  
  
"I'm all right." Tatsumi said, composing himself and standing on his feet, flushing the toilet. "Must be something I ate." He said, walking over to the sink and washing his hands and face with the cold water. He stared at his hands that were shaking and he quickly clenched them in to a fist.  
  
"Maybe you should take something." Hisoka said.  
  
"I'll be fine." He said and silence lapsed. "Has Tsuzuki waken yet?" He suddenly asked.  
  
"No he hasn't." Hisoka said, sighing. "Even if he did, he never could keep his eyes open for more than twenty seconds."  
  
Tatsumi sighed. "I see."  
  
"He'll be all fine, Tatsumi." Hisoka said, making Tatsumi look at him only to find a sincere look plastered on his face. "I know you care for him very much. He'll be fine." Hisoka gave him a sincere smile, when suddenly the doors to the bathroom flew open and in came Watari, 003 fluttering behind him. Tatsumi and Hisoka looked upon him in shock.  
  
"Tsuzuki!" He said, panting as he tried to catch his breath, his hair disheveled and his white lab coat looking very out of place since one sleeve was already falling down his shoulder because of his rushing. "Hurry! It's Tsuzuki!"  
  
Hisoka and Tatsumi wasted no time and rushed to the infirmary where Tsuzuki was. The door flew open and there sitting by his side was chief Kanoe. He turned around to meet the two pairs of confused and worried eyes. "Don't worry." He said, nodding to affirm his words. Tatsumi and Hisoka approached the bed and saw that Tsuzuki's color was back to normal and that his breathing was already in its normal rate, his burns and cuts now completely gone, since Touda's flames had weakened his rejuvenating abilities. "He's going to awaken soon." Hisoka gasped with glee, Watari clapping his hands with joy as well, a big smile in his face.  
  
Tatsumi remained rigid, staring at Tsuzuki. A thought suddenly crossed his mind. No! You can't wake now! Not yet!  
  
He flinched visibly, blushing bright red at the thought that just crossed his mind. He felt ashamed and disgraced at the sheer ill thought. He clenched his fists tightly, and everyone noticed the uncomfortable feeling he was currently facing. Not being able to stand what he just thought and why he even did so, he darted out of the infirmary.  
  
"Oi! Tatsumi!" Watari called out, rushing after him.  
  
Tatsumi immediately summoned the shadows of darkness and transported himself to earth. It was lunchtime already and he knew Muraki was going to have a lunch break. He transported himself inside his house, by the corridors outside his living room. He stood there, listening to Muraki consult his patient, a married couple who came to him advice.  
  
"I would not recommend that you take pills during pregnancy, Ayame-san." He said, and Tatsumi heard the sincerity in his voice and how honest and lie- free it was. "It is only normal that you feel your back ache, since calcium in your body is being used up by the child. What I will recommend though is that you take in as much dairy products as you can, mainly milk and yogurt, since it is rich in calcium." A shuffle of papers could be heard. "Do avoid heavy work, and I would suggest at least twenty minutes of exercise - walking is the best. It is spring, so it would benefit both you and the baby."  
  
"Thank you, doctor!" The lady said. "We really appreciate this."  
  
The door opened and Tatsumi watched as Muraki escorted them to the door and waved them goodbye, smiling and wishing them good fortune, telling them that if there is any problem, his door is always open. Once they were gone, he closed the door and turned to walk back in to the living room, when he spotted him. He stopped for a while and looked upon him with a curious look.  
  
"I thought you already left, Tatsumi. Did you forget something?" He asked in a mild manner.  
  
Tatsumi kept a straight face. "We need to talk."  
  
"Very well." Muraki said, nodding.  
  
"Not here." He said, looking out the window. "Not in your house."  
  
"Where then?" Muraki asked, seeing the stressed out look in Tatsumi's face.  
  
"Somewhere else." He said, heading for the door. "Somewhere open."  
  
They left Muraki's estate.  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
Okay, this fic is dedicated to my best, best friend, Naoku-chan, who helped me immensely in this fic!  
  
Wait for the next part. Oh I just love angst! Don't you? 


	3. Part 3

Oh angst! I love angst! Don't you? Oh and MAJOR Tatsumi OOC - but it goes with the story. You'll see what I mean.  
  
  
  
COMPLICATED 3  
  
  
  
The strong wind ruffled their coats, making their hair fly to one side as the waves in the rocks below crashed loudly, sending a mild spray of the blue ocean up towards them. The sky was not bright, a mild storm was brewing. Muraki had his silver eyes on Tatsumi who was looking at the rocks below. They had been standing in silence for quite sometime now, and Muraki was being patient. The crestfallen look on Tatsumi's face told him that something was bothering the secretary, and he knew better than to rush and get things out of him.  
  
"What have you done to me?" Tatsumi asked, facing him suddenly, his eyes narrowed, blue irises flashing with anger.  
  
Muraki blinked repeatedly, taking a step back and trying to find the right words to reply to that question. Tatsumi looked demanding and he himself knew that, because really, he did not understand himself. He was thinking of things that were not supposed to be thought of and what was worst was that they revolved around Muraki the 'mad' doctor.  
  
"What - W - What did I do to you?" Muraki asked again, his eyebrows knitted together. "I've done nothing to you!"  
  
"What have you done to me?" Tatsumi asked again, his voice slightly wavering, the question sounding a bit of a plea.  
  
"Damnit! You brought me here!" Muraki said, now loosing his patience. "I have done nothing to you!" He said again, stressing on the word nothing.  
  
"How is it possible?" Tatsumi asked, more to himself than to Muraki. "You were a killer, a cold blooded killer and now here you are in front of me being nice! Why? It's not possible! It can't be! Why? How?"  
  
"You don't believe in anyone do you?" Muraki asked, somewhat hurt by Tatsumi's questions.  
  
"I don't believe?" Tatsumi cried out incredously, pointing at himself. "I don't believe?" He asked again, his voice louder than before, and it trembled much more. Muraki saw the broken look in his face and his eyes softened a bit, seeing how Tatsumi was having an inner war with himself. "You're right! I don't believe in anyone! How can I believe in anyone when I can't even believe in myself? I can't believe that I am believing you, when just two months ago, you wrecked havoc good enough to swipe everyone dead in the face of the planet! You wanted to raise the dead! You hurt Tsuzuki who is now lying unconscious for the past two months and could barely keep his eyes open!" Tatsumi brought two hands to his face. "He - His rejuvenating abilities kicked in today and you know what I thought? I thought that he shouldn't wake up! I didn't want him to wake up! I was so selfish! I can't believe I thought that!" He turned towards Muraki, his eyes glistening a bit behind his glasses. "Don't you see? I did not want Tsuzuki to wake up! I did not want him to be walking around! I did not want him to get well! I hate myself! I hate myself so much! I can't believe it!" Tatsumi fell on his knees, looking truly lost and broken now.  
  
"You see?" Muraki knelt before him. "That is how I felt when I found out my half brother killed." Tatsumi looked up at him in mild surprise. Muraki gave him a small smile reaching out and taking his glasses off. "These emotions we feel, they blind us. You are blinded with self-hatred and confusion whereas I was blinded by revenge and anger." He reached out in to his black coat and took out a white handkerchief. "I thought that you would understand me, because don't you see? What we feel is very similar. I - I realized that I can't live all my years in the world of revenge. Neither can you live forever in the world of guilt." He wiped the tears that were slowly, almost to gently. Tatsumi felt a blush creep up to his cheeks and quickly looked away.  
  
"You're too kind for your own good." Tatsumi said, making Muraki flinch inside him. Tatsumi turned to look at him, a very small smile on his face. "Maybe that is why I hesitate when I think about you. I've witnessed how you act now, and I - I don't feel confused anymore." He stared at his hands. "I was only confused about myself." Muraki's hand came on top of his, and it made him look up, his eyes somehow softer now, free from confusion - there was only understanding.  
  
Muraki shook his head. His hand came up to Tatsumi's face; rubbing gentle circles on his cheek with his thumb and stared at his lips then back up at his blue eyes. He moved closer, until their lips were mere centimeters away from each other. "Now you understand." He whispered and finally kissed Tatsumi's lips.  
  
A strong gust of wind blew against them, making their hair fly and their coats flutter to once side completely. Muraki gently broke the kiss and stared at Tatsumi who had a bewildered look on his face. Muraki said nothing, but allowed Tatsumi to stand up and the shadows to swallow him up, disappearing from his sight. He stared at the sky, a light drizzle finally descending.  
  
*  
  
Tatsumi sat in his office, the pile of work now larger than ever. He did not go to earth at all ever since his confrontation with Muraki for the past two weeks. The doctor himself was busy, doing major operations for rich people, tending to those who lived nearby his house, helping students in medical school in their lessons, encouraging them even. All this he observed in silence, in the shadows where no one could see him. The sight was very warming though and the more he studied Muraki from afar, how gentle and caring he was, the more he liked the man. His mind suddenly drifted to that afternoon by the ocean, and out of instinct, his hand came up to his lips. It had felt weird, bitter yet sweet. He could not describe it. Muraki, so far was the only one who understood him the way he wanted to be understood, and it was such a comforting thought that ever since then, Muraki was the only person in his mind.  
  
A blush crept up to his cheeks and he quickly dismissed the childish behavior and grabbed a pen, beginning to get the workload in front of him sorted. He got so in to it that he forgot about the time. When he glanced up, half of his paper work done, he saw that it was already one in the morning. He shook his head, still wide and awake, and continued his work. He could disappear from the office tomorrow and go to earth. Besides, the hot springs sounded very intriguing.  
  
*  
  
"Have you seen Tatsumi?" Hisoka asked Watari the next morning.  
  
"No." Watari answered, looking up from the beaker containing an ugly green colored liquid. "I haven't seen him today. His paper work is done though, even the ones for today. My guess is that he stayed up late last night." Hisoka frowned. "Why are you looking for him anyway?"  
  
"Tsuzuki woke up." He said flatly. Watari gaped, his grip on the beaker slipping, causing it to crash on his foot, the chemical reacting with the leather soles of his boots and making fizzing noises. Watari was still oblivious to this; a bit too shocked with joy that Tsuzuki was awake. "Uh Watari? Your shoe is starting to melt." Hisoka said pointing at his shoe that was foaming white now.  
  
A loud yell echoed through out the agency. Watari was hopping about on one foot, while both his hands struggled to pull the melting shoe out of his endangered foot. He winced, he cried, he howled and still he could not get the shoe off. He slipped and fell on the floor, the shoe finally coming off and went flying the air, landed on another boiling beaker with pink fluid, causing sparks to fly from the mixture and finally a loud bang was heard.  
  
Hisoka waved off the smoke from his face, watching as Watari grunted and got to his feet, his long blonde hair blackened with ashes and standing on its end, one lens of his glasses cracked while other one gone somewhere, his face marred with ashes, making him look like a savage in the jungle. His clothes were something close to rags now, and were a bit too revealing.  
  
The first thought thing Watari did was give out a whine followed by a crestfallen look on his dirty face. "Tatsumi is going to kill me!"  
  
*  
  
That fine mid-morning, Tatsumi was walking around in Kyoto, just glad to have some fresh air since the smell of ink and paper was already getting to him. He stayed till four in the morning and still he was alive and awake with energy. It struck him funny at how he could stay up that long and not feel tired at all. A man dressed in a white coat passed him and he remembered Muraki. Perhaps he should pay him a visit; it was only polite to do so. Besides, it's not like he was going to do anything wrong.  
  
He passed by a bakery and brought freshly bakes cinnamon rolls and made his way to Muraki's estate by lunchtime. He saw a man and a woman exit the gates, a child walking in between them, a cast on his arm. Tatsumi felt a small smile creep up to his lips as he made his way inside the gate and stood by the doorstep. He rang the doorbell and patiently waited. The door opened and Muraki was there, without his glasses, his tie and doctor's coat gone. He looked a bit shocked to see him.  
  
"Long time no see, Muraki." Tatsumi said, his face serious but eyes behind his glasses soft and actually smiling.  
  
"Oh very true!" Muraki said, smiling brightly, opening the door wider. "Do come in, I was just about to have lunch. Would you like to join me?"  
  
"It would be a pleasure." Tatsumi said, nodding as Muraki helped him out of his coat. "Oh here!" Tatsumi handed him the soft pink colored box that had the cinnamon rolls in them. Muraki took them hesitantly. "It's cinnamon rolls."  
  
"Thank you." He said, smiling a very, very faint tinge of pink across the bridge of his nose. "You shouldn't have really." He said leading him to the dining room. He gestured for him to take a seat, the fine white and silver china in front of him glinting. "I hope you don't mind steak."  
  
"Not at all." Tatsumi said, shaking his head, as the butler brought in the mushroom soup. A light dip of the head was exchanged between the two as they picked their spoon up and took in some of the soup. It was rich and creamy, almost sweet but had that tangy taste about it. Once the soup was done, steak and potatoes along with Greek salad and gravy was brought in. Both ate, conversing about philosophical tales and plays of the olden times. Time seem to stretch forever as their conversation went from plays to history, from history to art and finally to music.  
  
"It is so sudden." Muraki said, going off topic. They had finished their main course and were now having the cinnamon rolls and English tea. Tatsumi set his cup down and looked at Muraki curiously.  
  
"What is so sudden?"  
  
"I wasn't expecting you to come down here on earth. Least of all to visit me." Muraki answered looking at the red tea in his cup.  
  
Tatsumi shrugged and took a chunk of his cinnamon roll. "I'm taking you for your offer." He said.  
  
"My offer?" Muraki looked confused.  
  
"You would show me the hot springs of Kyoto." Tatsumi answered taking a sip of his tea.  
  
"But of course!" Muraki said, nodding. "Today is the opening of the Sakura festival." He said, smiling with amusement. "You had fallen asleep while I was introducing the topic to you." Tatsumi blinked. "You were drunk."  
  
Tatsumi smiled at his own silliness. "Yes I was." He then looked at Muraki curiously. "Not be rude or anything, but do you not wear anything other than white?"  
  
At the question, Muraki burst out laughing, the deep laughs sounding gentle and definitely amused. "No I do not wear other colors." He then stared at Tatsumi's brown suit. "Do you not wear anything else other than brown or other shades of it?"  
  
"No." Tatsumi said, shaking his head. "Do you?"  
  
"Brown does not suit me." He said, and sighed. "I only have one black coat while the others are white."  
  
Tatsumi blinked, rubbing his chin in thought. "I have no other coat of another color." Their eyes met and they laughed out loud together. "Perhaps a nice blue would look good on you, Muraki." He said, nodding. "Yes, a combination of light and dark blue would be nice."  
  
Muraki looked at him and gave him a small smile. "White and gray would suit you best." He then gestured at the brown suit. "Although brown is really your color, but I think white would look good. For a change."  
  
"A change." Tatsumi echoed, turning to his cup. Change is one word that he could currently describe himself. He was changing and the funny thing was that he did not mind at all. He actually liked it.  
  
"Come with me, Tatsumi." Muraki said, standing up. "We must go to the tailor. One should enter a festival with a good change and a light heart." Tatsumi was confused but followed Muraki anyway.  
  
An hour later, both men came out of Muraki's private tailor carrying a box in each hand, making their way to the hot spring.  
  
TBC  
  
Rei Eien: Friendship, I though about that, but because everything is falling according to what I've scripted, there will be no room for it. But I did consider it, that's why this chapter was bit more friendly rather than 'loving' and perhaps the next chapter as well. Maybe, but no lemons just yet. Just a nice developing bond between them. Ne? 


	4. Part 4

Okay, here's part four! Happy reading!  
  
  
  
COMPLICATED 4  
  
  
  
Tatsumi stared at the steam drifting above them, his arms resting on the sides of the enormous warm pool. The smell of bamboo and sandalwood mixed perfectly, bringing a very sweet scent to the surroundings. It was a private place that only Muraki knew, so that they could have a moment of peace and not to be disturbed by anyone. Muraki sat opposite him, his arms folded lightly across his chest, his head thrown to one side as he watched the orange light of the sunset play tricks on the surface of the water. His platinum hair was plastered to his face, just like Tatsumi's, both their glasses gone. They had been silent the whole time, only their breathing could be heard. The sun was slowly disappearing, and the orange glow upon them both made them look tanned and highlighted their beautiful features.  
  
"You're right." Tatsumi said suddenly, breaking the silence as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "They do have good hot springs." Muraki nodded, chuckling a bit.  
  
"Yes, they do." He smiled up at the sky.  
  
There was no need for words. An hour flew by and the sun was completely gone from the horizon. The soft jingling of bells was heard along with soft flute music and cheering laughter. Both stood up from the warm pool, discretely turning their backs to each other as they dried themselves and wrapped the white towels around their waist. They headed in the changing room, made of bamboo, with bamboo chairs and a table, a small window on one side that allowed cool air to enter. They changed in to the clothes that they got, and when they faced each other both nodded in appreciation.  
  
Tatsumi looked very different, the light silver gray suit bringing out his eyes contrasting with black dress shirt, along with the blue tie, the whole look accompanied by black loafers. The white coat fell a few inches below his knees, especially tailored to perfection for his slim built. Muraki looked handsome in the dark outfit. He wore a nice blue suit, a silver gray dress shirt and a blue tie, along with a wonderful night sky blue coat that made his pale skin look surreal - he looked very gentlemanly. Then again, he always did.  
  
"It suits you very much." Muraki said, gesturing to the suit Tatsumi was wearing. The white coat really did look very nice on him.  
  
"And you look very good yourself." Tatsumi said, nodding as well.  
  
"Shall we go then?" Muraki asked, and Tatsumi nodded.  
  
Tatsumi would have used his shadows to teleport them immediately to the festival site or maybe even his shinigami levitating abilities. But the walk down the green fields in the edge of town, with little lanterns lighting their path was so good that he actually enjoyed it. They were talking of politics and its history, and Tatsumi was amazed at everything Muraki related to him and his knowledge of history. Then came in the idea of business in the current world and how it was affecting the lives of people. Tatsumi was explaining everything so well that Muraki was merely listening, absorbing like a sponge. Both gained new knowledge of each other as they walked on and on until they reached the festival site.  
  
It was littered with children and teenagers. There were sweet couples walking hand in hand, pointing at the game galleries, some parents struggling to gain control of their children. A lot of kids ran about, holding candy sticks or bags of junk food, some carrying prizes that they won while some merely chased the other who had something that belonged to them. It was actually an amusing sight, where white lanterns hanged above their heads; musicians bustled down the path making soft music with their flutes.  
  
Muraki and Tatsumi view various displays of plays with the help of puppets or picture illustrations. There was even a show, which used shadows behind a silk screen. They watched a dance performance called 'Dance of death'. The main element of the play was the music and whenever the strings of violins began to screech it signified panic or danger, thus the acting on the stage moved along hand in hand with the music. They had tried different brewing of sake, and had some old-fashioned hand made tea. They took in some of the home baked rice biscuits, sweets and other finger foods that were small and not too heavy. All in all it was turning out to be a fantastic evening.  
  
"They always celebrate spring here in such a high spirited manner." Muraki said, making Tatsumi nod in agreement as they walked down the rows of stalls one more time, just amused at how everyone looked happy and was enjoying themselves. A small, lost boy collided on to Muraki, his face red from crying and a fist covering one eye, tears cascading down his cheeks. Muraki kneeled before the boy, and placed both hands on the shoulder. "Are you lost?" The boy nodded, sniffing. Tatsumi watched as Muraki took out a handkerchief and wiped the tears away. "We will find your parents, okay? Don't cry." He said, lifting the boy and sitting him on his shoulder. Because he was tall, the boy enjoyed being above everyone else. Immediately the tears were gone and instead there was a big smile. Tatsumi brought some cotton candy, in which he held happily, munching on the sugary sweet. The boy began to talk about his favorite colors and soccer. Muraki had brought him a plushy of a soccer ball, which the boy immediately hugged and thanked Muraki for. Muraki looked patient and so caring that one would mistake the boy as his own son.  
  
"Akira!" A lady called out from behind, followed by another man. Muraki and Tatsumi turned to find the two flustered parents sigh with relief at the sight of the boy.  
  
"Mama! Papa!" The boy said, reaching out for them. Muraki set him down from his shoulders, watching as the boy rushed to the arms of his mother. "Look!" He showed them the plushy and candy. "Uncle Muraki and Uncle Tatsumi got it for me!"  
  
"Thank you very much." The father said, bowing in gratefulness, the mother doing the same. "We thought we lost him."  
  
Tatsumi flicked a glance at Muraki who merely shook his head. "No, he's a big boy." He ruffled the child's dark hair. "Right Akira?" The boy beamed up at him. "Take care."  
  
The family walked away, saying a final thank you and disappearing in to the crowd. "You are good with children."  
  
Muraki shrugged. "Innocent little things." He said, turning to look at Tatsumi a small smile on his face. "I would like to have some of my own." Tatsumi was a bit surprised but nodded in understanding. "The night is still young, Tatsumi. A walk around the old capital is something I would recommend at this time of the evening. It is spring after all."  
  
"Very well then." Tatsumi said, nodding in agreement.  
  
*  
  
They had stopped to take a break in an open café, ordering warm English tea and some pastries to accompany it. It had been a very pleasant evening indeed and they had walked nearly for about four to five kilometers and Tatsumi was finally feeling fatigue kicking in to his system. He had not slept at all and the tired look was very visible in his face. After tea and the pastries, Muraki had the courtesy to head for home. Just as they were about to take a taxi, an explosion of colors and loud banging noises caught their attention.  
  
They turned to look up at the sky towards the sound and colors and saw the wonderful display of fire works, a million luminous colors dancing in the dark sky. They both watched for a good ten minutes as the colors changed from pink to green and blue to yellow then finally white. Shapes of unknown patterns littered the sky, and it indeed was a tantalizing sight, for both for a moment looked lost in their own minds, as they watched the fire works.  
  
"It is beautiful." Tatsumi said, as the fire works slowly came to an end.  
  
"Indeed." Muraki said agreeing.  
  
A taxi stopped in front of them and both got in, Muraki telling the driver the address. This time they were silent, just watching the blur of people, buildings and lights zoom past them as they neared Muraki's estate. Tatsumi yawned, not intending too, but he could not help it. He covered his mouth with a fist, blushing a bit from embarrassment. They got out of the taxi and entered the dark house.  
  
"Come." Tatsumi led him upstairs and pushed the door of a room open. It was the same room Tatsumi had slept in when he passed out during his drunken stupor in front of Muraki. Muraki handed him a white yukata. "I will be just downstairs if there is anything you need." He said, taking Tatsumi's white coat off. Tatsumi yawned again. "Did you sleep last night, Tatsumi?"  
  
"No." He said, taking his glasses off and folding it, holding it in his hands. "I got no sleep for the past twenty four hours."  
  
"It is unhealthy. You know that." Muraki said, his doctor-mechanism immediately kicking in, as he folded the coat over the blue velvet chair in the corner of the wide bedroom.  
  
"I can't help it." Tatsumi said, now pulling his dress shirt off along with his pants, pulling the white yukata on. "It was a good evening."  
  
"Yes, I agree." Muraki said, nodding. "I, myself, had a good time."  
  
"I too." Tatsumi said, placing his glasses on the side table.  
  
"Good night, Tatsumi." Muraki said, heading for the door and before Tatsumi could even reply, lightly closing the door behind him.  
  
Tatsumi laid on the bed, pulling the silk comforter over himself and threw an arm over the pillow. He inhaled a huge gulp of air, the smell of pine assaulting him. He blinked and slowly closed his eyes, a small smile forming on his lips. He slept a dreamless sleep and for once, no thoughts of regret, guilt or hatred plagued his mind. For once in the last two months, he slept a peaceful sleep.  
  
*  
  
The next morning, he found his suits cleaned and waiting for him on the chair, along with a towel. He got up and made the bed, feeling refreshed and full of energy. He stretched his limbs doing a little bit of warming up exercise to shake the sleep off. He then took a refreshing shower and changed in to his usual brown suit. He padded down the stairs, the bright morning sunshine shining upon the white and blue décor of the house. He found Muraki sitting in the dining table, eating breakfast of omelets, bacon and coffee.  
  
"Good morning, Muraki." Tatsumi said, greeting him by the doorway.  
  
"Good morning, Tatsumi." He said, smiling, looking up from a folder, which held his day's schedule. "Did you have a good sleep?"  
  
"Yes thank you." He said, joining Muraki at the table. "A question of curiosity Muraki." He suddenly said, a thought occurring in his mind. Muraki set his cup of coffee down turning to look at Tatsumi. "Where did you sleep last night?"  
  
Muraki shook his head, chuckling. "No need to worry of such things Tatsumi." He said, holding a basket with freshly baked croissant towards Tatsumi who took one. "You are my guest, and shall be treated as one." Tatsumi seem a bit disturbed. "Do not worry so much of such things Tatsumi. We have wonderful day ahead of us. Why start it with worry?"  
  
Tatsumi could say nothing but agreed with what he said. Why worry anyway?  
  
After the good breakfast, Tatsumi went to Muraki's library and scanned through his books of foreign literature, while Muraki tended to his patients in the living room. He was awed by the number of good selections Muraki had, and was currently absorbed by poems by Edgar Allen Poe. He spent the whole day until lunchtime reading numerous poems. They had lunch together in a nice French restaurant, Tatsumi commenting on his good collection of books and his good choices.  
  
"Why thank you!" Muraki said to Tatsumi's compliments. "Please feel free to enjoy it. I am glad that I have something of your interest. I hope that I do not bore you."  
  
"Oh not at all!" Tatsumi said, suddenly stopping in his actions at what he said. Muraki was looking at him with a soft expression on his face. Tatsumi flushed a bit at the gaze of the handsome man. "Not at all Muraki."  
  
"I'm glad!" He said, and they both continued their meal.  
  
When they returned home, Tatsumi locked himself up in the library, now reading Greek Philosophy while Muraki attended to his afternoon patients. None of them saw each other till seven in the evening. By then, Muraki was done with his day's work and went to the library, to find Tatsumi sitting on the velvet chair near the fireplace, reading the third volume of his set of books on Greek Philosophy.  
  
"A group of Italian violinists are performing tonight." He said, making Tatsumi look up from the book, closing it. "Would you like to join me?"  
  
"I would be most pleased." Tatsumi replied.  
  
They both got dressed and headed for the concert hall, taking a good high seat and watched the fine display of music.  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
Okay, there! Nice chapter isn't it? I like this the most! My favorite chapter so far. 


	5. Part 5

Well, this is certainly turning out very nicely. I hope no one is put off just yet. Hey come on! Muraki/Tatsumi pairings aren't that bad. Right?  
  
  
  
COMPLICATED 5  
  
  
  
They came out of the concert hall talking about the numerous music pieces that were played that evening. Dark clouds swirled above them, causing them to stop and look up at the sky. A rumbled sounded and just as soon as it came, rain followed. Many of the people from the concert hall rushed to their cars or hailed taxis to get home. Muraki immediately called a taxi and got in with Tatsumi, heading for home.  
  
Once in the comforts of his house, Muraki sighed and placed his coat in the laundry, taking Tatsumi's as well. "This certainly was unexpected." He said, a bit disappointed that the rain ruined the evening. "Honestly! Rotten luck comes along once one is enjoying himself."  
  
"I know what you mean." Tatsumi said, and stopped again. He didn't think before he spoke, it just came out. He felt his ears burn so suddenly that he hid the blush by pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. To his surprise, he found Muraki's face a bit pink as well. He turned around and hid his laughter. It was so out of character for Muraki to blush like that.  
  
"Would you like some hot chocolate?" Muraki asked.  
  
"You are being so kind to me." Tatsumi said, loosening his tie. "I - I don't even know what to do in return."  
  
"No worries, Tatsumi." Muraki said, smiling again. "Your company is more than enough for me." He said and headed for the kitchen, preparing two mugs of hot chocolate. He came out and found Tatsumi sitting in the living room, the waist coat of his suit, tie and suit jacket gone and folded neatly. He was staring at the window, watching as the water from the rain slid down the glass. He held the cup out towards him, which he took, giving him a thanking smile. "You look troubled, Tatsumi. Is there anything that discomforts you in my house?"  
  
Tatsumi looked up immediately and quickly shook his head. "No, no, Muraki. Nothing at all. I am quite comfortable, thank you." Muraki's eyes did not leave his, as he took a sip from his cup.  
  
"Tell me." Muraki said, making Tatsumi look up.  
  
He told him.  
  
*  
  
Tsuzuki was sitting up in bed, watching the cherry blossoms dance in the evening air outside the infirmary. He had a bowl of soup in front of him, something he had not touched for the past twenty minutes since it came and it was already getting cold. Everyone had dropped by to see him including people from the other divisions.  
  
"What's bothering you, Tsuzuki?" Watari asked, patting 003 on his shoulder who nestled in her feathers, giving a happy chirp at her master's touch.  
  
"Nothing Watari." Tsuzuki answered, sighing. "Has Tatsumi come yet?"  
  
Watari swallowed. "No, he hasn't Tsuzuki. It's been two nights now."  
  
"I see." Tsuzuki said, looking at his soup. "Is he angry?"  
  
"I don't know, Tsuzuki." Watari answered. "I don't think so." Tsuzuki did not look convinced. "He'll come. Maybe he just has some business on earth."  
  
"Maybe." Tsuzuki answered, looking at his soup once again. "Maybe."  
  
  
  
*  
  
Tatsumi stopped telling his tale and sneezed. Muraki was a bit surprised, but this was quickly masked with concern. "Are you cold?" He asked.  
  
"No, I'm fine." He said, shaking his head. Muraki heaved a sigh of relief. It had not stopped raining yet. "The rain always brings bitter memories to me." Muraki sat in silence, listening, being patient. "My mother died in such a weather, she was killed." He said, not elaborating much further. "We were a noble family back then, but because of some problems and misunderstanding, my mother had taken me and my sister and run away. Our peace did not last, for she was killed. I never could stand tears. It reminded me so much of my mother, whom I really tried to bring happiness to, but it just never worked out." He stared at his cup now, which was half full. "I was Tsuzuki's third partner for three months, and he was just so fragile that I could not take it. He was like my mother. I had to break off the partnership." He looked up at Muraki. "I apologize. This is all too sappy for a good man as yourself."  
  
Muraki stood up and sat beside Tatsumi on the couch. "Not really." He said, setting his cup on the coffee table. "I always have two good ears to lend Tatsumi." At the word ears, Tatsumi's vision shifted to his ears, looking at the earrings he was wearing. Muraki had followed his gaze, and smiled, touching one of his earrings. He took out one, the one on the right and handed it to Tatsumi. "Here." He said. Tatsumi stared at it for a moment, unsure of what to do. "Allow me." Muraki took the earring and with utmost care, rubbed the lobe of Tatsumi's left ear. He then pricked the earring in, making Tatsumi wince and flinch away a bit. He clipped the earring in place and watched as the blood disappeared, Tatsumi's healing abilities kicking in. "It is very becoming, Tatsumi."  
  
Tatsumi looked at the window, catching his reflection. He saw how the red rubies sparkled and he nodded, a smile curling up his lips. "Not bad." He said, still nodding, not looking at Muraki. "Not bad at all." They looked at each other and immediately laughed.  
  
They really did enjoy each other's company.  
  
*  
  
Tatsumi spent the next two days with Muraki. They had visited the hot spring twice after their last visit and went to many galleries to look at paintings, both of them sometimes getting engaged in a friendly argument. They would go to cafes, have lunch and dinner together.  
  
Once evening, Tatsumi decided that he would make dinner. Muraki at first was not sure, not wanting Tatsumi to do anything but relax. Tatsumi had dismissed such thoughts and pushed Muraki in to his library and told him to leave everything.  
  
"Don't worry. I do make edible food." He said, and this brought laughter to Muraki.  
  
Tatsumi spent the afternoon preparing dinner with utmost care. He had settled for an Arabian dish. He made kebabs and shish tawook, baking Arabic bread and making the traditional Arabic apricot juice to accompany the whole thing. He had made Arabic pastry, which had cream filling along with coconut bits and raisins. It had been time consuming, but the end results were very pleasing. Before he set dinner, a headache attacked him, so he went to take a refreshing shower, changing in to white slacks and a black dress shirt - something Muraki got for him. He really liked it, since they were soft and silky to the skin. He set the table and went to the library to call Muraki.  
  
"Muraki, dinner is-" He stopped, finding Muraki sitting on the velvet chair by the fireplace, his head to one side, eyes closed, his glasses sliding down his nose. He was asleep. Tatsumi knew that he had skipped lunch and so he crouched beside him and shook him awake. "Muraki. Dinner is ready."  
  
Muraki woke up slowly, blinking several times. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sorry. I just had a terrible headache." He stood up, slipping his glasses back on. "So what did you make?" Tatsumi led him to the dining room and Muraki literally gaped. "Okay, I took your word for knowing how to cook. But this is a -" He shook his head. He did not know what to say. "It looks very good!"  
  
They sat down and ate dinner.  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
Hisoka checked Tatsumi's office. The work pile on his table was horrendous. He had not come to the agency for five days now and everyone was getting worried. He had asked chief Kanoe if he knew where Tatsumi were and he merely got a negative answer. It was very unlike the secretary to not come for such a long time. He had even checked his apartment and found it empty.  
  
He headed for Watari's lab and found it empty. Gushoshin was there. "Where's Watari?"  
  
"He's in the library." Gushoshin answered, looking at a paper with a graph drawn on it.  
  
Hisoka headed for the library and found Watari furiously scanning through papers. "What are you doing?"  
  
Watari muttered a curse and slammed the drawer containing files shut. He opened another one and began to furiously flip through the folders in them. "Where is it?" He hissed.  
  
"Where is what?" Hisoka asked, looking at the very agitated scientist. "What are you looking for?"  
  
"I remember that while were tracking Muraki down, I wrote something in one of the papers that was in his folder. Where is it?" He shoved the files back in and slammed the drawer shut, only to open another one. "Those were important notes! I'll never complete my concoction if I can't find that stupid folder!"  
  
"You wrote notes on your potions on Muraki's folder?" Hisoka asked, a bit stupefied by the act.  
  
"There wasn't any paper around!" Watari argued, giving up on searching and placed his hands on his waist. Just then one of the Gushoshins drifted in. "Hey Gushoshin! Have you seen Murkai's folder?"  
  
"Tatsumi has it. He had demanded that it was given to him." Gushoshin shivered. "That look on his face was so scary."  
  
Hisoka looked outside the window. Why would Tatsumi want Muraki's file?  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
Muraki wiped his lips with the table napkin. "That was wonderful." He said, as Tatsumi walked in with tea in two cups.  
  
"I'm glad that you had enjoyed it." Tatsumi said, handing him his cup of tea. They spoke of the old Arabian Kings and tales of the desert. The conversation went on and on, until the clock struck ten in the evening. The plates had already been cleared and they were just sitting in the dining room, simply talking. Tatsumi had enjoyed his stay with Muraki when it suddenly hit him. He had not returned to Meifu for five nights straight, six counting that current evening. He wondered if Tsuzuki had already awakened. The look on his face suddenly changed to concern and guilt. It was not fair in a way - to be away for such a long time from the person he truly cared for.  
  
"Something bothering you Tatsumi?" Muraki asked, looking at him, the dimly lit room high lighting his concerned features.  
  
Tatsumi smiled a small smile, looking up at Muraki. "I have enjoyed my stay with you, frankly speaking." Muraki smiled at that sentence. "I will have to leave tomorrow." The smile on Muraki's face faltered, and suddenly, it looked forced.  
  
"You are a busy man." He said, nodding, but face looking strained. "I understand." Tatsumi looked at his side. "Will you come down to earth again?" He then hesitatingly added, "To visit me?" Tatsumi looked up, the tone behind the last phrase catching his attention the most. It sounded hurt and afraid to be rejected. He watched as Muraki stood on his feet and stood behind him, wrapping both arms around his shoulders from behind. Tatsumi's eyes were as wide as saucers. The smell of pine blinded him for a moment. Muraki buried his face on his shoulders. "I understand if you won't be able too. But I'll be honest." The hold tightened. "I will miss you, very much."  
  
Tatsumi felt his stomach flip and his chest tighten at those words, but then it quickly disappeared and all he felt was a light feeling. He brought his hands on Muraki's arms and squeezed it gently. He understood him and vice versa, for he too did not want to leave just yet. He faced Muraki, seeing how that single silver eye glistened with honesty. Such a big change for someone who was so evil before. He loved him and the latter felt the same, for they really understood each other, for the first time ever since their rather inconvenient meeting when Muraki was still evil.  
  
Muraki brushed a lock of his brown hair away from his face, and with slow deliberate movements, he pressed his lips on Tatsumi's waiting ones.  
  
TBC  
  
Lemon! Lemon! Lemon! Next chapter! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 


	6. Part 6

Not for young and innocent readers - enough said.  
  
COMPLICATED 6  
  
Tatsumi brought his hands up to Muraki's forearms, and closed his eyes, kissing the doctor with just as much fervor as the latter did. Muraki moved, taking a step back, both his arms still around Tatsumi, leading him outside the dining room, their lips not once going apart. Tatsumi brought his arms up and looped them around Muraki's neck, running his fingers through the amazingly soft platinum locks. Muraki pulled from the kiss and climbed up the stairs, his hand clasping Tatsumi's, who followed him up. Both had deep blushes on their faces and were starting to feel a bit hot.  
  
Muraki threw the door of the bedroom open and pulled Tatsumi in to another kiss, only this time it was much deeper than the one they shared downstairs. Automatically, Muraki kicked the door close and pinned Tatsumi on the door, making the secretary moan, but this was swallowed once again by Muraki's now pink lips. Tatsumi's hands were on Muraki's waist. Just then, Muraki stopped kissing and leaned on Tatsumi, dropping his head on his shoulders. Tatsumi had been a bit disappointed when he had stopped kissing him, but wondered why Muraki did anyway.  
  
"Tatsumi, I - I really -" Muraki's hands fisted on Tatsumi's sleeves. "I truly care for you. It is strange, this feeling I have."  
  
Tatsumi hugged him and buried his face on the crook of his neck. "I feel strange too." He then remembered something. "I'm curious. In all the days I've spent here, where did you sleep?"  
  
Muraki chuckled. "On the couch downstairs."  
  
They looked at each other and amused smiles crept up upon their faces. Muraki pulled his glasses off and blushed a bit brighter. Tatsumi pulled his own off and walked over to the bed, placing it on the side table. He began to unbutton his shirt, slowly, thinking about how he felt. When Muraki had kissed him, he did not feel like it was a sin, considering what had happened two months ago, but found it quite right, for he had felt the need for it. He wanted to be with Muraki, and wanted the latter to feel the same. The exchange of the burning desires and fluttering feelings they got amused them, for it was new and something so out-of-character.  
  
He felt two arms loop around him from behind, the hands landing on his, the fingers unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt. The light brushes of Muraki's fingers on his torso, made him arch back, his eyes closed as he placed his head on Muraki's shoulders. Muraki continued unbuttoning the shirt, so slowly, while his lips busied themselves with Tatsumi's neck, giving light nips and kisses, making Tatsumi's breathing come out in breathy rhythms. Tatsumi's hand trailed up towards Muraki's head, running his fingers through his hair as Muraki continued to assault his neck gently, lovingly and slowly. His lips moved up, towards Tatsumi's jaw, the teeth brushing against the skin, making Tatsumi shiver.  
  
"I love you." Muraki whispered to his ear, the shirt now completely unbuttoned, his fingers now fiddling with the belt. He kissed his ear, his breath tickling the outer lobes, and making Tatsumi shiver again. His light feathery kisses turned to gentle bites, occasionally, he would lick the ear, and Tatsumi could only hiss in lust. Muraki's hands unzipped his pants, and slowly pushed them down Tatsumi's waist, causing it to fall with a clatter on the carpet along with his underwear. Tatsumi turned around and pulled Muraki in to a kiss, the doctor now massaging his scalp, while Tatsumi remained occupied with Muraki's white dress shirt, hurriedly unbuttoning the buttons. He pushed the shirt off, exposing Muraki's body. His eyes fell on Muraki's shoulder and noticed a very dark scar on his collarbone. He stopped kissing Muraki and looked at him with questioning blue eyes.  
  
"What - What happened?" He asked, gently bringing a finger to the scar, lightly outlining it.

Oops! Stop right there! I'm taking down ALL lemons and archiving them elsewhere. If you wish to continue reading, you'll have to go to profile page and visit my webpage in deviantart or access the complete version in under the penname shi-chan06. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience, but I do not want to loose my account.


	7. Part 7

First of all, a million apologies for leaving this fic hanging. I've left it untouched for so long, and I know it must be really disappointing. So I'm really sorry.  
  
This should be either the second to the last chapter or the third. It's gonna end soon. A part of the reason why I did not update so long was that I forgot some of the plot and I was too lazy to type. I'm in that faze.  
  
I'd like to extend many personal thanks and I will do so in the end - to all those who kept up with me with this pairing.  
  
Inferno - I took your review in to consideration and I'd like to say thank you, but somewhere in that long review I beg to differ. First of all, this is fan fiction. A writer can do almost anything to the character and I chose this. First of all, I see Tatsumi (in this fic) as a father figure. And it's kinda' obvious, because after watching episodes 11-13, I see his 'love' for Tsuzuki is more Parental. Know what I mean? As for Muraki, come on! Revenge on Saki was his sole purpose in life. But now that everything is gone, what else is there? It's kind of logical to me. So that's why I made him a NORMAL person. Someone who can love, hurt and care. It's kind of like compensating for all those years of living in nothing else but in the revenge-state-of-mind. Okay, so maybe two months is a little too short, but like I said, this is fan fiction. Yes, they are both dominant, and I've explained Tatsumi's reasons here. Oh and what's a relationship if there is now mush? (wink) Thanks for your long review. This pairing has been a challenge to me and yes coming up with a GOOD plot for them is like - impossible. But I tried and I'm glad I did. It may not be as good as any other writers out there, but good enough reason to get them together - I think. HE HE HE HE  
  
COMPLICATED 7  
Tatsumi came to a sudden halt in front of Tsuzuki's door. He reached out to turn the knob but stopped and instead, turned around and headed for the exit, only to turn around once more and head back for Tsuzuki's closed white door. His mind was in turmoil. He was torn in half between his lover and his comrade and friend. He deeply cared for Tsuzuki. At some point, he thought that he was in love with the amethyst-eyed shinigami. But what did he feel then? He felt content just seeing Tsuzuki happy with just about anything. He had been most happy when Tsuzuki finally got a partner. He never felt angry or annoyed whenever the man was near someone in more than friendly-manners - especially to Hisoka. No, he never got angry, in fact he felt the need to encourage it. But when he was with Muraki, things were different. He understands him (although not at first) and vice versa. He liked that feeling, having someone who takes care of you and understand your feelings, because in all his years in the EnMaCho, he was the one who was on the look out for others. They all depended on him for he was a strong pillar that one could lean on. He did not mind, for they were his comrades and gave them support when needed and they cared for him.  
  
But nobody understood him.  
  
And that was probably why he was with Muraki. Muraki not only understood him, but he was his pillar. He was someone who took care of him (literally) and he never experienced that in a long time. When was the last time someone carried him to bed because he fell asleep somewhere uncomfortable? When was the last time someone prepared him a nice decent meal and encouraged him to eat even when his stomach said otherwise? When was the last time someone drew him a bath and help him bathe?  
  
When was the last time someone fussed over him?  
  
"Too long." He mumbled to himself, now rapidly pacing the empty corridor of the infirmary.  
  
Yes, it had been too long. And now that he was experiencing (even if it was with the most unthinkable person alive) he felt damn good! He felt alive, something he never felt, even with Tsuzuki. That was probably it. He felt alive.  
  
He turned to look at the door and stared at it for a long time. The guilt and betrayal for Tsuzuki was there and so was the love and passion for Muraki. He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. For Tsuzuki's sake, he would do this. He is his friend is he not?  
  
"He is my friend." He said to himself and knocked twice on the door. He entered and found Tsuzuki gazing out the window, sitting up on his bed, the white covers keeping him warm till his knees, concealing his white yukata clothed body. On his shoulders was his black coat. His eyes did not acknowledge who had entered and Tatsumi took the opportunity to grab an apple from the table, a plate and a knife and sat on the chair next to the bed. Tsuzuki turned to look at him and surprise glowed in his eyes. Tatsumi gave him a smile that he meant and placed his hand on Tsuzuki's lightly rubbing the knuckles. Tsuzuki smiled and understood him, for he curled his fingers around his hand before patting it and clasping both his hands in front of him. He turned to look out at the window once more, while Tatsumi cut him some apples.  
  
"Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki said, making Tatsumi look up from his task of peeling the apples. "You've helped every time." Tsuzuki smiled once more at him. "Thanks so much."  
  
"You're welcome." Tatsumi replied, setting half of the sliced apple on the plate and reaching for the other one to cut it into smaller pieces. "That's all I can do for you." He said, stopping his task for a moment and looking at Tsuzuki in the eye. Tsuzuki's smile broadened and he stared at his hands. Tatsumi smiled slightly and looked down at the apples and began to cut them in to smaller pieces, partially peeling it. "One more thing to ask of you." Tsuzuki looked at him in confusion.  
  
"Go ahead." Tsuzuki said, catching the sudden hesitation and slight unease reflecting in Tatsumi's avoiding gaze.  
  
"About you being rescued." Tatsumi began and he immediately scolded himself mentally. This was going to get nowhere and he knew that he would feel even guiltier in the end. But it was too late for second thoughts now, isn't it? "Don't you think it was kind of unnecessary?" Where the hell did that come from? Oh you really did it now, didn't you, Tatsumi asked himself sarcastically.  
  
"Tatsumi -" Tsuzuki said, but Tatsumi cut him off.  
  
"I didn't want to change your mind." He defended, although at that time, he truly did not intend to. He respected Tsuzuki and his decisions. Besides, back then there was nothing in between them. Not a single thing. Now, things were slightly different. "That's why I hesitated. You have been rescued from the fire of hell -" Tatsumi gasped, slicing his hand from pressing the fruit to far with the knife, cutting his hand in the process. He closed his eyes and smiled a bit - a sad smile. He held the cut with his other hand, in hopes to stop the bleeding. "I envy Hisoka. Nothing to hesitate about, expresses one's thoughts openly."  
  
"No such thing." Tsuzuki said, shaking his head. Those words made Tatsumi jerk his head up and look at Tsuzuki with wide eyes. "Your mind, I understand well." There was a moment of silence and they just stare in to each others eyes. "Thank you for rescuing me." At those words, Tatsumi felt his insides shatter in to tinier pieces. He did not deserve those words. How can something feel so right and at the same time feel so wrong? How? Was his love for Muraki so wrong? Was he being punished? For he loved the enemy and was now being punished by feel pain from his good friend. Why? "Thank you, Tatsumi." Tsuzuki said in a whisper of sincerity.  
  
What could he say to that?  
  
A knock on the door sounded and Watari popped in, along with the Gushoshin brothers and Wakaba, bringing newly baked pie. They were all so happy and were glad to have Tatsumi with them again. Their joy affected Tatsumi for he momentarily forgot his troubles and stayed with them for dinner and dessert.  
  
When Tsuzuki left to look for Hisoka, he left as well, heading for his office. There, he sat on his chair and buried his face in his hands, weighing everything. He really messed up things royally. He continued with his paper work, tackling a few more folders before calling it a night. He arranged everything and grabbed his white coat, slipping it on and heading for the main gate. He would need a nice good night sleep. Tomorrow things will be clear. He would go about his routine and after work go to earth to see Muraki. No one will know. Now has to know. No one will ever know.  
  
He smiled to himself slightly.  
  
"Tatsumi-san!" A sharp voice finally called from behind him, a hand clamping firmly on his shoulder. Said hand suddenly stiffened the muscles tightening to a great extent. Tatsumi turned and found himself looking in to Hisoka's wide green eyes.  
  
"Kurosaki-kun." He greeted and was puzzled by the wide eyes look on the youngster. "Is something wrong?"  
  
Hisoka jerked his hand from Tatsumi, as if it got burned. "N-No." He replied, in a low, shocked and unbelievable whisper. Tatsumi narrowed his eyes at this. "It's just that, well, Tsuzuki was really happy today. I-I-" Hisoka looked like he wanted to run away.  
  
"You -?" Tatsumi urged.  
  
"I want to thank you for seeing him. I was worried you were not around. But then again nobody knows where you go now, right?" He said. "Good night." Without another word, Hisoka dashed away and headed for Watari's lab.  
  
Tatsumi shrugged and headed for his home. He could not help but think that Hisoka's words were somewhat sarcastic. The boy was eager to leave him. Why should he have reason to? Tatsumi never hurt him in the past. He never offended the young boy before.  
  
Tatsumi stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
Unless he saw something. Tatsumi looked at his coat and felt his insides contract.  
  
He was wearing the white coat Muraki gave him.  
  
He looked back at the building and spotted a figure looking at him from the glass windows. He turned his back sharply and looked about. Something inside was pounding. Something inside him was swallowing him.  
  
Fear.  
  
Fear for Muraki.  
  
Without even thinking, he headed for earth.  
  
*  
  
Hisoka did not know what else to do. He rushed to Tsuzuki's room and threw the door open. He was so lost, so angry, so sad and so betrayed. All this feelings not only because of his past, but for Tsuzuki as well. Tears ran down his cheeks.  
  
How dare Muraki touch Tatsumi in such an intimate manner? How dare he impose such acts on Tatsumi? How dare he force him to do such things? HOW DARE HE?  
  
That was probably the reason why Tatsumi had been gone for sometime. That was probably the reason why he had so many red marks on his neck. Something many failed to notice, but not him. No, never him. It was also probably the reason why Tatsumi was slightly limping - ever so slightly. Hardly noticeably, but now it all makes sense.  
  
"Hisoka? I thought you left." Tsuzuki said, and his eyes widened at the sight of the silver tears falling down Hisoka's face. "Hisoka? What's wrong? Why are you -"  
  
"He hurt him." Hisoka said. "He hurt Tatsumi. He raped him!" Hisoka said.  
  
"Who?" Tsuzuki asked, worried, curious and angry.  
  
"Muraki!" Hisoka said. "I saw it! He was ramming in to him! He was rough! I - I don't know! How can - Why?" Hisoka mumbled, sitting besides Tsuzuki, allowing his partner to hug him. Tsuzuki gazed out the window and stood to look outside, leaving Hisoka lying on the bed. The poor boy trembled slightly, from anger and frustration. No, not from fear or anything along those lines. He was a stronger boy than that.  
  
Tsuzuki continued gazing out the window and he spotted Tatsumi and for a moment, no matter how impossible, their eyes met. And then Tatsumi rushed away.  
  
Shame.  
  
That was probably what he felt right now.  
  
Tsuzuki felt rage rise in him. Muraki was going to pay in full.  
  
Tomorrow night.  
  
TBC  
  
Tune it next time.  
  
Review, review review! ^^ Make me happy. 


	8. Part 8

Let's get one thing straight. I only watched the anime, hence I judge characters by what is shown in the anime. I'm sorry if I neglected things from the manga – but that's basically it. I did not read the manga and although I have a desire to, I don't think there's a store nearby that sells YnM mangas in English. So I am judging from the anime perspective. And the previous chapter – in case none of you know – the dialogue exchanged between Tatsumi and Tsuzuki was taken from the anime. I did NOT make that up. It is in the anime.

puff puff

There! I said what I needed to say! Thanks to all the review (especially the long ones) Keep them coming!

COMPLICATED 8 

Tatsumi appeared in the front lawn of Muraki's estate. It was late evening and the lights in the house were all off, save for the one in the library. He assumed that Muraki had a long day. Sleeping in was so out of character for the doctor. Remembering that he himself did not want to get up that morning too, Tatsumi bit the urge to grin and headed for the front door. He rang the doorbell and waited. A few minutes passed and he rang the doorbell again. This time, he heard cluttering foot falls and the door flew open. Muraki stood there, in nothing but loose sweatpants and a robe that was not even fastened around the front. His glasses were not perched on his nose and he was looking upon him with wide eyes.

"Seiichiro?" He blinked.

"Kazutaka." He said in return.

Muraki let him in immediately, shutting the door. They headed for the library where Muraki was sorting out a few folders, his glasses on top of the small pile. "I wasn't expecting your sudden return." Tatsumi looked away, and Muraki saw this. "Not that I am not glad that you did return soon."

"They know." He said flatly, lips trembling a bit.

"Who knows what?" Muraki asked, not looking completely confused.

"Hisoka." Muraki frowned. "Hisoka knows about you and me. He – He was trying to get my attention and touched my shoulder. He saw something." Muraki picked his glasses up and slipped it on, before picking up the yellow folders and arranging them. He opened a drawer and placed it inside. "I have to get you out of here."

That made Muraki look up at him sharply. "Get me out of here? Why?"

"Don't you understand? Nobody back at Meifu has ever forgiven you for what you've done to Tsuzuki, Kazutaka. And if there is one person with so much hatred towards you, that would be Hisoka. And if Tsuzuki finds out – I don't know! I just – I just want to get you out of here! Before something bad happens." He looked away, not being able to look at Muraki anymore. Just the mere thought of something bad happening to him was enough to make him shatter inside.

A hand on his shoulder made him look up and stare at the beautiful face of his lover. "If it is what you think is best, then I will go wherever you want me too."

Tatsumi felt himself sigh in relief and a smile break upon his features. He wrapped his arms around the body of the handsome doctor in front of him and laid his cheek on his broad shoulder. "I just don't want you to get hurt." He fumbled for Muraki's hand, wanting to hold it tightly in his. He suddenlt frowned when he caught his lover's hand. Bringing up the said hand in front of his eyes, he looked at Muraki in confusion. "What happened to this?"

Muraki cradled the hand in his other one. "The strangest thing happened today. I was clearing up my tools when my hand just started bleeding." He sighed. "Although I did not cut myself."

Tatsumi blinked in confusion, but took the injured hand and held it in his. He couldn't think of any explanation. "It will heal. Please pack some of your things. We must leave immediately."

"Yes. Of course." Muraki left the room and headed to his own room, taking out a bag and putting in a few outfits and personal hygienic things. Once he was done packing, he changed in to a pair of black slacks and silver-gray dress shirt. He did not bother with the necktie and simply grabbed a white coat and slipped it on. Tatsumi was by the doorway of his room, waiting for him. Muraki made a note and left it for his butler, in forming him of his departure and how he should just take the whole week off. With that little task done, he stood beside Tatsumi and stared at him for a while. He then smiled and took one of the secretary's shaking hands in his. "If anything does happen, I want you to know that the past few days was something that I will forever treasure."

"Same here." Tatsumi said and held on to Muraki's hand in a more protective and possessive manner. The shadows began to shift around them and rise, soon engulfing them in complete darkness. Muraki felt everything whoosh before him and his feet loose its footing from the ground. But he felt no fear, in fact he felt safe, just knowing that he was with the only person he would have loved to spend the rest of his life with.

The darkness dissolved and soon they were standing on a hill, in the outskirts of Kyoto, staring at the humdrum several hundred feet below and a greater distance ahead of them. The stars sparkled above them and their coats fluttered in the wind. "We're here." Tatsumi said and lead him towards the small cabin that was just a few feet behind them. Muraki was quite surprised to find such a cozy looking place in the middle of splendor beauty. He entered the cabin and found it furnished with simple yet comfortable wooden furniture and woolen carpets. The smell of lavender clung in the air. Tatsumi was building a fire. It was a rather small place, with only one bedroom and one bathroom and a very, very small kitchen. Tatsumi immediately got a fire going and led Muraki to the bedroom, in which the bed was laid with silk whit sheets and window with velvet curtains parted allowing moonlight and starlight to seep in to the room. "You'll be safe here." Tatsumi said, and turned to smile at him.

"It is a lovely place." Muraki commented, shrugging his coat off and placing it on the chair.

"Yes. This belongs to my mother. We fled here, back then. When I was still alive." Tatsumi turned to face the window, staring at the glowing moon. "I come here when I just want to think and be on my own for a while. I don't think anyone knows of this place."

Muraki looked at the floor; sitting on the bed, shoulder slumping a bit. "What will happen? Why – Why did you feel the urge to hide me? Away from them?" Tatsumi turned to find Muraki with his back to him. He approached his lover and knelt before him. "Something is going happen, am I right?"

There was silence in between them. Tatsumi parted his lips to speak, but instead, he closed his eyes and slumped in defeat. "I know something will happen. I do not know what Hisoka saw, but whatever it is, he may have misunderstood it. I do not want anything to happen to you, Kazutaka. I truly don't. If things do get bad, at least I know that you are safe, away from harm."

"And what of yourself?" Muraki asked, eyes narrowing and hands shaking. "Do you think I will not feel at loss if something does happen to you?"

"But you will be safe!" Tatsumi reasoned.

"No!" Muraki got to his feet, clearly aggravated and angered. "Do not think of me as a weak person, Seiichiro! I am not weak! I refuse! I refuse to remain here while you might be facing danger! I will not allow something unreasonable as such to happen! I would rather go myself and face the wrath of your fellow comrades in Meifu than to live in emptiness if anything does happen to you!"

Tatsumi bolted on his feet. "Listen to yourself!" He snapped, now angry as well. "I am already dead, Kazutaka. I cannot die again! You are alive! You have your whole life ahead of you! Even if I do get hurt, it would take but a few days or maybe even hours to heal. And of yourself? Did you think of me low and unthinking when I decided to take you away to safety? They want your head on a silver platter! They want you dead and not existing! Can you not understand?" Tatsumi turned around sharply and pulled his glasses off, tossing it on the bed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He could feel tears pickling his eyes and escaping his tightly closed lids. "I – I just want you to be safe. That's not too much to ask for isn't it?"

Muraki turned to find one of Tatsumi's arm wrapped around himself, while the other remained on his face. He felt touched but his ego was wounded. But now, seeing him looking a bit frustrated and sad, he forgot everything else and approached him and held him in his arms from behind. He plucked Tatsumi's hand off the bridge of his nose and brought it to his lips, lightly placing a kiss on it. "I'm sorry. I know you mean well."

"I do." Tatsumi said, shivering suddenly. "I just want you to be far from harm, that's all."

And then they made love.

(There is actually a lemon here, which you can access by going to my profile and then to my webpage in deviantart or simply go to and read it under the penname shi-chan06. Otherwise, you may skip the brief lemon and continue reading)

Tsuzuki watched as Gushoshin typed frantically at the keyboard of the computer. He was glaring at the screen, Watari and Hisoka behind him, with 003 fluttering and hooting with annoyance.

"Got it!" Gushoshin said and immediately a map of Kyoto appeared on the screen, a blinking red cross somewhere in the middle of the old capital glaring back at Tsuzuki's amethyst orbs. "That's Muraki's address!" Gushoshin hit the 'print' button and gave them the address and a map to accompany them. "It's a small local clinic. Quite ironic don't you think?"

"Probably another one of his research bases." Hisoka said bitterly. 003 gave a sharp hoot at his comment.

It was nearly sunset since it took Gushoshin the whole afternoon to narrow down Muraki's movements through his activities and billing of his credit cards. What struck him quite funny that nothing out of ordinary was taking place. He did say this to Tsuzuki who merely scowled at him and pulled the map and address away from his grip quite sharply.

"This crazy person has his ways!" He snapped and stomped out of the library, leaving Gushoshin to sigh. Watari and Hisoka followed suit, fury burning in them and feeling annoyed towards Gushoshin. It was not like the poor bird creature was standing up for the mad scientist of a doctor. He was just basically telling them facts.

"No need to get so worked up about it." He said, quite hurt but it quickly disappeared once he began to sort out files of the recently deceased.

Tsuzuki entered his part of the office ands at behind his desk, turning his head towards Tatsumi's desk where the work pile was steadily growing again. He was not at home, and he had personally checked. He could only guess that he was in Muraki's clutches. He felt rage bubble up even fiercer and he grabbed the nearest object near him and flung it across the room.

"I won't allow it! I won't allow him to toy with one of my friends like he did with me! Nobody deserves to go through what I did! Nobody should and ever will! Not until I'm around! I'll kill him! I'll kill him for doing that to Tatsumi!"

Hisoka clenched his fists and glared at the ground. He never did forgive Muraki for what he did for him when he was sill alive and like Tsuzuki he had the thirst to prevent anyone from becoming Muraki's toy. Watari merely patted 003, angry too, but not showing it. He hid it in him. He had great respect for Tatsumi, and he wondered how Muraki was able to break such a man as Tatsumi and lure him towards his sick clutches.

Wakaba brought them some refreshments, and then left silently, seeing that neither of the three wanted to be disturbed. The three drank in silence and once eight PM struck, Tsuzuki got to his feet.

It was time to make him pay.

Tatsumi opened his eyes and stared at the clock. It was seven thirty in the evening. He had his lover cuddle up in his arms, looking fragile and all the younger. He stared at the moonlight for sometime, wanting to remain in his place forever, not wanting to leave Muraki all alone anymore. But he had one more thing to do. One more thing to clear and it was something he cannot runaway from, no matter how hard he may try.

Placing a kiss on Muraki's forehead – a mere symbol of sincerity and true and genuine love – he slowly stood up and cleaned himself up. He got dressed in his usual brown suit and slipped his glasses in place. Muraki was now lying in a fetal position, arms around himself, sheets slipping below his waist. He gently pulled the sheets over his sleeping lover till it covered his shoulders before standing back, taking one last look at him. He picked up Muraki's coat, the smell of pine assaulting him once more and slipped it on. It fitted him perfectly.

He stood in the middle of the room, the shadows swallowing him up. In minutes he was in the middle of Muraki's bedroom, moonlight falling upon him. He gave the moon one sad smile before sighing deeply. "This is it." He said, and heard the front door slam shut and Tsuzuki yell from below.

"Muraki! You bastard! Come out here right now!"

TBC

I know I haven't updated in a long, long, long time and most of my kind and wonderful readers has probably lost interest already! Hontou ni gomen nasai! I am sincere with my apologies! The next chapter will be the final one. This is how it is supposed to end and I hope that as much as I've enjoyed making this fic, you have enjoyed reading it too.

Tell me what you think and once again, I am so sorry with this chapter being extremely late!


	9. Part 9

Many thanks to my old readers and like promised, here is the final chapter. It's a little longer than the first few ones (which only took 4 pages on MS WORD). I am eternally grateful that I still got reviews in my previous update, both from new and old. I am really, really sorry. I just kinda' lost interest (Yes, Rei Eien, I did loose interest for a while). But then I got a bit annoyed in seeing lots of my fics hanging incomplete. So I just pushed myself and frankly speaking, I quite did not like the previous chapter. Though, this … my second favorite. I'm proud of it I guess – in fact I'm proud of the whole fic! I don't think this is the only MuTats fic out there, but I think it may be one of the first few successful ones! Thank you so much dear readers! If anyone has ever come across any other MuTats fic, kindly send me the link by mail or include it in your review. I do hope that some of you will be encouraged to write more MuTats fics. 

Anyway, on to the chapter. 

COMPLICATED 9 

Tsuzuki heard a door upstairs open and close. He glared in the darkness, Hisoka and Watari standing a few feet away on both his sides a little bit behind him. He could hear his one and only hated mortal being (never human. Tsuzuki could never ever call him human) walk down the hallways upstairs and descend the stairs in slow deliberate movements. He could hear his breathing, the filthy bastard. Tsuzuki pulled out his talisman and held it in front of him, crossing his fingers to their summoning signs. This was for Tatsumi, the one who took care of him and though he broke his partnership with him, he remained friendly and understanding. Always there for him, allowing him to see his soft side. The mere idea that someone good as Tatsumi falling under Muraki's clutches made Tsuzuki see red. He tightened his grip on the talisman that was threatening to tear and narrowed his eyes in anger once he saw the flutter of a white coat appear in his line of view. 

"Bowing before you I present my wish, the twelve gods who protect me! Heat waves hotter than black flames become a celestial snake, grant dancing descendance! Come forth! Touda!" He spat the chant out, disgusted by the man approaching the end of the staircase. Around him, black flames erupted like a volcano and black fumes began to dance in the air, and amongst the fiery black abyss rose the tern snake, Touda. Touda gnashed his teeth, and gave out a loud hiss as he rose higher towards the ceiling of Muraki's villa. His silver eyes were flashing, narrowed directly towards the object of Tsuzuki's anger. Tsuzuki did not give Muraki a chance to react. Once he saw the flash of Muraki's glasses, he gritted his teeth. "Touda!" Tsuzuki stretched out his hand towards Muraki, a clear order for Touda to burn the sick bastard before him. Without questions, Touda launched forward, his long tail knocking things, his fire causing the air within the house to heat up and the glass windows and displays to shatter to a million pieces. The floor began to burn, the woolen carpets giving off an awful stench. 

Watari levitated from the ground and took charge of shielding the battle arena, Hisoka in tow. "There's no hope for him. Not even Shinigamis could resist Touda's flames and wrath." Watari said.

A loud cry of pain and a flash of glasses falling to the burning ground and shattering made Hisoka wince hard and fall on his knees. Tsuzuki was not aware of what was happening behind him, he was too engrossed in watching Muraki suffer. He was too blinded by rage to pay attention to anything. Watari cried out in alarm and 003 began to fly in fast and frantic circles around her master. 

"Bon! Bon!" Watari knelt beside him, the shields weakening for a moment because of his loss of concentration. "Are you all right? What's wrong with you?" Watari held him by the shoulders but Hisoka had his arms wrapped around himself tightly, shoulders hunched and head dipped low, as his reality dissolved and he saw something else.

He was in a bedroom, a dark and yet warm bedroom. Puzzled he looked around and his eyes widened the size of saucers. He could not believe it and he refused to believe. The cold truth came slapping him in the face and he found himself unable to tear his gaze away from the two figures before him, nor cover his ears to what they were saying.

* Scene in the bedroom the previous evening *

Muraki was kissing Tatsumi's neck, the sheets covering them both. Tatsumi was breathing out deeply, hand gently running up and down Muraki's smooth back before finally resting on his shoulders. The secretary's eyes were heavy lidded, since Muraki had made love to him for the fourth time that blessed evening and he wanted more. He couldn't get enough. He turned his head to one side, while Muraki traced his lips higher up his neck and began to nip at his beating pulse. Seeing that his lover had stopped moving and lying completely still, Muraki stopped his kisses and merely looked down at Tatsumi, his weight on his hands on the bed. 

"Seiichiro?" Tatsumi blinked and slowly turned his head upwards, looking up at Muraki's face. Muraki's eyes were gentle, and worry reflected in them. "Is something wrong? Would you like to get some sleep?" Muraki tried to see what was wrong, but he could only see the loving face of the man below him, gazing upon him with his faithful blue eyes and hair damp from their activities of sex. Muraki himself was coated with a thin layer of perspiration and his hair was clamped up strips of silver. But he could not take his eyes off his lover. Just watching him was enough. There was that slight tinge of pink on his cheeks from all the heat building up between them. His lips were rosy from all the kisses they shared and they were now parted in the most arousing manner while he took in breaths. "Is something bothering you? I could leave you on your own if you wish to have some solitude." 

Muraki made movements to stand but Tatsumi quickly gripped him. "No!" He said, and shook his head that was lying on the silk covered pillow. "No. I do not wish for you to leave. Quite the opposite in fact." He smiled softly up at him and wrapped his arms around Muraki's neck, pulling him down so that he was lying on his shoulder. "It's just that, I just wish that people back in Meifu would understand you the way I do. But that's asking for too much. They're wonderful people, and I would never feel anger towards them. But I just wish they would understand. Why I love you." 

"Whatever you are afraid off, just remember that you'll always have me." Muraki closed his eyes. "Even if something does happen and things don't work out in the end, there's always the later after life, am I right?" 

Tatsumi looked at Muraki, seeing nothing but sincerity in his eyes and small smile. "You're right. There is the later afterlife." Tatsumi wrapped his arms around Muraki's neck once more. "I'd do anything to remain like this."

"And so will I." Muraki said and placed a deep kiss on Tatsumi's lips, parting the soft rosy flesh and exploring the secretary's inner caverns. He felt warm trickles of liquid dripping out of his erection and using it as an advantage, he began to rub his eager manhood on to Tatsumi's awaiting tight entrance. Tatsumi groaned in to the kiss they shared, and relaxed his body as Muraki began to penetrate him. It was not painful, unlike the first time, but rather blissful. When Muraki hit home, Tatsumi gasped out so loud that Muraki felt himself shiver at the beautiful sound his lover made. 

"Kazutaka." He breathed in to the kiss, writhing under the doctor, his erection rubbing against the doctor's lean stomach. Muraki felt himself shiver again as Tatsumi writhed under him. "Kazutaka." He breathed again, throwing his head to one side, hair splaying on the pillow, pulse beating erratically. 

Muraki kissed his cheek before moving in synchronized rhythms within Tatsumi. All coherent thoughts had slipped both minds as they moved together. The silk covers began to wrap around at their waist when Tatsumi gave out a deep throaty cry, arching back in a lovely arm, neck stretched and exposed and eyes tightly shut from climax. Muraki could not think of anything more beautiful than what just took place before him, hoe his lover came and cried out. Tilting his head back and stretching his own neck, he gave out a deep sigh as he came in to the body of his lover. 

Tatsumi relaxed and wriggled teasingly, awakening Muraki's excitement once more. He gave him a mischievous little smile on his lips. "You are probably the most beautiful thing, I have ever encountered." Muraki said, breathing the words out. Tatsumi gave out a hearty laugh and wriggled some more, making Muraki groan in anticipation on what was next to come. "I never knew you had this side of you." 

Tatsumi pulled him down with Muraki's manhood still buried deep within him. He then reversed their position, having Muraki lying underneath him. He stared at him for the longest moment, not minding that Muraki's manhood was hard and slick deep within him once more. He took Muraki's hands in his and kissed both of them softly. "I love you."

"As do I."

* Back to present battle scene *

Hisoka gasped out loud, falling out of the vision he had been so wrapped up in. It had been intense, the emotions that Tatsumi and Muraki felt that previous evening was thick and clung to every corner of the villa. He felt betrayal well up inside him. All this time, Tatsumi had been with Muraki. And not only that, he loved him. 

Another cry of pain made Hisoka look up. "Are you all right?" Watari asked.

"Stop him!" Hisoka said in a whisper and when he realized what was suddenly happening, he leapt on his feet and frantically shook Watari by the coat. "We have to stop him! He's going to kill Tatsumi!" 

"What?" Watari yelled out, simply out of pure shock.

There was a crashing noise and both Shinigamis turned to find Touda who had wrapped his victim around its tail flung him across the room with all his strength, burning the victim in the process. "Tsuzuki!" Hisoka called out. "Stop him! Stop! That's not Muraki!" 

Tsuzuki turned around sharply, eyes wide. "What?" Tsuzuki cursed under his breath and signaled Touda to stop. The tern snake immediately obeyed, pulling back and stopping its attacks and instead, turned its silver eyes towards its victim, who was now lying face down on top of some fallen concrete bleeding and burned in many places. Tsuzuki, Hisoka and Watari hurriedly approached the body of 'Muraki'. His white coat was now gray in color, torn and marred, and burned in more than one place. They could see the skin beneath the clothing and the glasses that the prestige-looking doctor always wore was nowhere to be seen. 

Tsuzuki crouched on his legs and was about to reach out for the unmoving body, when said body started to cough violently. The moonlight danced upon the fallen figure, highlighting the suave brown hair and blood dripping from the victim's lips on the dusty ceramic floor. Tsuzuki's eyes widened, when the face turned and sapphire eyes looked up at him. Tsuzuki felt horror washed him. What did he just do? He could feel the tears pricking behind his eyes, and more guilt washed over him when Tatsumi gave him a smile that he so specially reserved just for him.

"Looks like you're back to your normal and functioning self. I only hope that you do better with paper work." Tatsumi then fell on his back, turned to his side and coughed violently again, more blood gushing out of his mouth. He was now soaked in the red, the wounds from Touda's crushing bleeding ferociously. 

"Why didn't you say something?" Tsuzuki said in a low hollowed voice, his hair covering his face, as his eyes remained downcast.

"Because you wouldn't believe me if I tried to." Tatsumi said and groaned rather loud before he suddenly heaved up blood, adding more to the pool already forming around him. 

"Why do you say that? How can I not believe you?" Tsuzuki yelled, eyes now flowing with tears. "How could you say that?" He asked in a low voice, lowering his eyes down. Hisoka swallowed, hoping that Tatsumi wouldn't answer that question just now. It just wouldn't be right at the moment. Watari just looked away. The blonde man knew that something was up and he was sure whatever it was, it would definitely not make Tsuzuki happy.

"Because –" Tatsumi clenched his hands to fists and slowly got his feet. He was shaking rather violently and could feel the chills building up against him. He was suddenly so drained. By now, his healing abilities should have kicked in. He was surprised that the wounds were not closing as fast. In fact, if possible, he was getting weaker and weaker. "Y-You would n-not believe m-m-me if I-I-I told y-you that I l-l-love Mu-Muraki." His knees suddenly buckled and fell on his side with a gasp. 

Tatsumi's words rang true. Watari and Tsuzuki were looking at him as if the ever-so-straight-headed secretary of JuOhCho had just gone of his rocker. Hisoka would have reacted just like them but after that assaulted vision, he acted otherwise. The sixteen-year old boy did not know how to feel just yet. Should he fell betrayed? Lost? Happy? Angry? Murderous over Muraki? Or even Tatsumi? What? Hisoka chose to look away, closing his eyes. The sound of the shifting of damp clothes made him look over at Tatsumi who was trying to stand up again. No way in the seven heavens or hell would any shinigami be able to stand after that particular assault from a Shikigami. Especially one like Touda. But Tatsumi was motivated and something burned in him to keep him going. Hisoka could feel that it was something to do with the silver-haired doctor.

Hisoka ignored Watari and Tsuzuki who was still trying to digest whatever words that just flew out of Tatsumi's mouth. He headed for secretary's side and helped him up. "I'm sorry." He mumbled and Tatsumi looked up at him weakly as he leaned on the shorter boy for support. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have judged so hastily."

"Don't worry about it." Tatsumi said, coughing up more blood that it was starting to scare even Hisoka. The coughing fits should have stopped by now. At least he wasn't stuttering on his words anymore. Perhaps it was a positive sign. "Anyone with a bad background with the doctor would have reacted the same way." 

Hisoka bit his lower lip. Tatsumi would have normally lectured him about having brash judgments. What happened to the old Tatsumi? When did he become so mellow? Was this the effect of the doctor on him?

"I have to go." Tatsumi said.

"Where?" Tsuzuki suddenly said, going to the other side of Tatsumi and giving him more support. "We have to get you to the hospital. You need to heal!"

"No!" Tatsumi snapped and coughed up crimson liquid again. This time, all three visible winced. "I have to go see him. Let me go. I'll be fine!"

"Oh I bet you will!" Tsuzuki said sarcastically. "Where is this place you want go?" He asked, forcing a smile, but tears were sliding down his cheeks even more.

*

Tatsumi fumbled with the cabin's door. It was guilt that made Tsuzuki and the others help him back to this place. But in his heart, he knew they felt betrayed because of his love for Muraki. Who would have thought that he'd fall for him anyway? He himself was having a hard time believing it. But it was there – the warm feeling he felt with just being under the same roof with the doctor.

"K-Kazutaka?" He weakly called out and stared around the living room of the small cabin. He heard no noise and automatically headed for the bedroom. He tried to quicken his pace but his wounds was the same as it was some time ago. It hadn't even closed just a little bit. It scared Tatsumi, but finding his lover had clouded his mind. He tightened his grip on the doorframe as he pushed the door of the bedroom open. 

It was still dark but enough moonlight filtered through the room for Tatsumi to see the outline of Muraki on the bed. He stumbled towards the bed but before he could even reach it, he collapsed in the middle of the room on the round plush floor rug, a pool of blood forming and soaking the rug. Watari, Hisoka and Tsuzuki made a move to be next to their comrade but when Muraki sat up from the bed, they stopped by the door.

"Seichiro?" Muraki got off the bed and knelt next to him, gathering the lean frame of the secretary in his arms. Muraki felt – and was horrified – the life slowly drip out of Tatsumi. "You're not healing!" He said in panic.

"I figured that much." Tatsumi said and gasped as he his chest tightened. It was quite miraculous in a sick way that he could still cough out blood after coughing what could have been his entire circulatory system already. "I don't know why." He said sadly and looked deep in to Muraki's eyes. 

Muraki wasn't wearing his glasses and was dressed in a plain cotton gray pajama bottoms and nothing else. To Tatsumi, he looked beautiful. With or without clothes, Muraki always managed to make Tatsumi feel the heat creep his neck. Even when he was in the verge of passing out, he could feel whatever body heat he had left creep up his red soaked neck. Muraki's eyes formed beads of crystal that slowly dropped down to his cheeks. 

"You're crying." Tatsumi said, not quite understanding why. "Why?"

Muraki just gathered him tightly and pressed his pale cheek on Tatsumi's. "I'm loosing you." He said in a hoarse and sad whisper. 

"I see." Tatsumi said and swallowed hard. His throat was dry and he could no longer feel his legs and arms. Numb, that was how he felt. Very, very numb. Tatsumi closed his eyes, the warm salty tears of the doctor now trickling down his ashen and blood streaked face. "I'm sorry." 

Muraki could only tighten his hold on him. The doctor could hear Tatsumi's weakening heart, the way its heartbeats seemed to become rather irregular by each passing minute. Shinigami's were immortals. They weren't supposed to die because they're already dead. Yet, in his arms laid one whose breath was becoming slower and slower and slower. "You creatures aren't supposed to die." Muraki said, kissing Tatsumi's bloody temple, staining his lips red in the process. Muraki resembled a vampire – pale against the moonlight, who looked like he had his first feed in the evening with his blood stained lips. But that was just it. He was beautiful and that sight was forever etched in Tatsumi's memory. It was strange that how Muraki's red stained lips reminded Tatsumi of the first time they had sex. "You're not supposed to die." 

Tatsumi brought a hand up to Muraki neck, letting his thumb draw little circles. "Touda can be a bit rough." At Tatsumi's words, Tsuzuki purposely looked away, turning his back to the two lovers. "I have no regrets." Muraki closed his eyes, bringing up his own hand to rest on top of Tatsumi, pressing the open and rather cold palm to his face. "I have no regrets for loving you." He whispered and then he closed his eyes. Muraki's lips trembled. Tatsumi's head was resting on his shoulder, his palm still tracing circles on cheek. 

Muraki could feel his chest somewhat tighten. Then the light drawing of circles stopped. Muraki's eyes snapped open wildly, pupils dilating. Hisoka saw the reaction and stumbled back on to Watari who quickly grabbed him before the boy fell back. A cry left out Muraki's lips. Tsuzuki who had his back turned to them felt the tears gush down his cheeks. 

"Anou – Tatsumi!" Watari gasped.

All eyes shifted to Tatsumi's figure. Muraki's eyes widened when the body in his arms began to give out a very bright glow. He watched with an expression mixed with horror and amazement as Tatsumi slowly began to dissolve before his very eyes in to hundreds of glowing sparks that as seconds ticked by, they dimmed in to the night air. Muraki hugged Tatsumi's upper body and soon he was just hugging himself. 

Tatsumi was finally gone.

Silence reigned over them. It was the first time for all three shinigamis to witness the death of another shinigami. Hisoka looked at Muraki who remained in the kneeling position, arms around himself. Hisoka wondered where the traces of the heartless madman went. Then he remembered the vision he saw of Muraki and Tatsumi in an intimate situation. Tsuzuki turned around and looked at the doctor. Muraki remained unmoving in his kneeling position. Only then did Tsuzuki notice the continuous dropping of crystal tears on the bloody carpet. 

Tsuzuki found his voice. "M-Muraki." He said, but the doctor did not look up.

"I'm not mad at you." Muraki said, his head still dipped low. Tsuzuki clenched his fists, glaring at Muraki.

"You have every right to be!" Tsuzuki lashed out, his emotional side getting the best of him. "If – If you loved him, you would be angry!" 

Muraki looked up then, and gave Tsuzuki a sad smile. "He wouldn't have wanted me to be angry at you." Tsuzuki just grimaced a bit but glared even harder. There were no words that he could think of that could reply to what Muraki just said. Muraki then looked down. "He also wouldn't have wanted you to drown yourself in guilt." Tsuzuki felt the sudden urge to strangle Muraki then and there. Then again, Muraki's words hit home. It was typical of Tatsumi to think or want such things from him. "Don't blame yourself. For Seichiro's sake. Don't blame yourself."

"What about you?" Hisoka asked, letting go of Watari for a while. 

"What about me?" Muraki asked, looking up at Hisoka. He then smiled sadly again. "I pretty much lost everything now, didn't I?" He dropped his gaze again. "I'm sorry. That was selfish."

Hisoka wanted to scream no at him. No, Muraki wasn't the selfish one this time. It was them. They hauled towards the situation without thinking or even trying to understand why Tatsumi would be with Muraki. Tatsumi was a levelheaded man. He knew what the 'psychopath' was capable of with that sick and twisted mind of his. And yet he loved him. No, it was not Muraki's fault but their own. It was just on their part that they refused to accept that Tatsumi was in a relationship with the 'enemy'. 

"Please leave me be." Muraki whispered. "I wish to be alone now." The doctor's arms went around his torso, nails digging in to pearly white skin. There were little red marks visible all over his chest and neck and shoulders – the only physical reminded of his time with Tatsumi. Soon it would fade and soon he would to. Hisoka could feel the black sadness that was growing within Muraki. 

Hisoka turned his back to the doctor, Watari following him. Both vanished in to thin air heading back to parallel world. Tsuzuki remained. "I am sorry." He whispered. How ironic. He was the one who was apologizing to the person who should be apologizing for all the inhuman deeds he did in the past.

"I forgive you." Muraki looked up at Tsuzuki, tears trickling down his cheeks, a genuine smile on his face. "I forgive you, Tsuzuki-san."

*

Tsuzuki stared at the book of the dead. The last name had appeared that day and Tsuzuki had personally gone to check if it was true. Now he saw it with his own eyes and he felt some sort of sadness and relief inside him. The marks on Hisoka's body had vanished completely and the boy himself felt something light grow in him in all those years since he became a shinigami. Everyone in Meifu itself was relieved even though nothing insane or out of ordinary did happen. But somehow, to those who did not know the truth, it was comforting. 

He lived his life till the age of fifty-eight and he did not take in any lovers nor did he start a family. He lived an honest life and worked in a well-respected hospital. His death had been sudden. The heart attack was never expected at all. He fell in to coma for two months until one night he just slipped away. 

"That was last night." Tsuzuki said loudly to himself. He stared at the book of the dead once more.

Muraki Kazutaka.

Tsuzuki left the agency and headed for earth. He was walking in circles, not really caring where he would go. He thought of Muraki and life he lead. During Tsuzuki's free times, he would go and check up on the doctor every now and then. For several years not once did Muraki made a go at suicide. Whatever loneliness he felt within him, he kept it discrete and never allowed it to mingle with his duty as a doctor. In time, Tsuzuki forgot the anger he had for the doctor but there was still that small spot of black in the never-ending white. There were nights when he witnessed Muraki just sit on his chair in his apartment and stare at the evening sky. Muraki also had to take a sleeping pill or two before he slept. Hisoka told him once that Muraki never had peaceful sleep from the gaping hole of loss that was inside his being. But Tsuzuki never saw him complain or show his inner turmoil. He dealt with it and remained alive for several years.

Tsuzuki knew that if he were in Muraki's place, he would not have the courage to keep going the way he did. 

He passed by the cemetery and entered it. He walked silently towards a particular tombstone that many people had been gathered around earlier that day. He stared at the white marble slate and swallowed a lump on in his throat, a tear suddenly trickling down his cheek. 

"I'm sorry." He whispered and closed his eyes. "I am so sorry." 

A gentle breeze blew by and Tsuzuki raised his face towards it. He opened his eyes to the clear blue sky and swallowed again. He looked at the marble slate and noticed two flower petals lying upon it. 

Black and White.

Tsuzuki felt a smile tug his lips. 

Perhaps in time he'd learn to forget everything the silver-haired doctor did completely and learn to live a life the Muraki and Tatsumi did.

Honesty and bravery. 

FIN

This is a late chapter! Oh my GOSH! I am sorry but you guys are probably sick and tired to hearing me apologize. But I'm really SORRY! College work has gotten way over my head. Consider this a late Valentines special. 

I want to thank all those wonderful readers who have spent their precious time reading my work! Also to those who have added me to their list of favorite authors! Man, I'm so flattered! 

This ending is a bit odd. I didn't feel it would be right for Muraki to just kill himself after loosing Tatsumi. I wanted him to be portrayed as a brave and honest man. Heck, lets face it! Based on this fic, I think Muraki and Tatsumi had been honest with each other otherwise both would have each other by their throats from the beginning, get my drift? But it is a rather strange ending, or so I feel. But I do not wish to change it. But I still feel strange. Bah! Well the black and white petals show some significance on where those two are now right? As for the shinigami's death – well, I made that up. I imagined that shinigamis would just vanish in lights or something. Oh well, let it be your imagination then.

I have enjoyed writing this fic (ignoring the fact that I have kept hidden for so long) and I sincerely hope that my dear readers have enjoyed reading it too! Many thanks to all those who reviewed I am forever grateful! 

To those who wish to have this fic displayed in their sites, please kindly notify me first. I would like to keep a list of links where my fics are being archived so that when I have site of my own, I can link back. 

Thank you dear readers! See you next time! 


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